I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

The film city covers an area of more than 100 hectares. Its initial construction cost was over one billion. It was the previous mayor of the city who borrowed money and issued lottery tickets to raise enough money to construct this magnificent movie city from the ground up. It has become one of the few tourist attractions and stable sources of income of Dongshan City.

But unfortunately, the hard-working mayor was removed from his position before it was built because his mistress was flaunting her wealth on Weibo. Thus, his successor was able to pick up an almost ready-made project. Now, whenever elderly people in Dongshan City talk about the previous mayor, they would always sigh and feel like he wasted a good opportunity:

“He was perfectly fine, why did he have to go and find a lover? If he just endured it a bit longer, he might have gotten promoted!”

“That’s right, and this new mayor can reap the benefits the previous mayor created. He would giddily report the 7.1% economic growth to the higher-ups every time... But from what I’ve heard, because of what happened to his predecessor, he doesn’t even have the guts to wear a good watch!”

There were other rumors that said: The previous mayor had actual military experience, so the country planned to make him fight for his country instead of a punishment. He was sent to Africa to fight over diamonds against the anti-government guerilla groups, not sure if this was true or not.

In summary, Dongshan Film City, which includes film and television shooting bases, tourist attractions, hotels, restaurants, and nightclubs is full of grandeur, wealth, extravagance, and waste. It is in line with the wishes of domestic and foreign production crews.

After leaving the subway station, Xiao Qin brought me to the entrance of section C with ease. She showed her relevant personnel ID to an elderly guard, and after registering my name, she finally brought me inside the base of operations successfully.

Because the place was mainly composed of ancient architectural styles, I thought that they would definitely be filming an ancient period drama. I didn’t expect to see over 90% of the crews filming anti-Japanese dramas.

On top of a city gate from the Ming Dynasty, a Chinese soldier screamed while holding a large sword: “Return my land!” More than twenty Japs across from him fell off the city walls like Humpty Dumpty. Not sure if he used Kamehameha or Buddha’s palm.

There was a dejected Jap (I found out late he was actually Japanese) who was being scolded by a big bellied Chinese director: “You’re not acting like a Jap! You gotta be more violent, more aggressive!”

When the big-bellied director saw me walk by, he ran towards me as if he found a great treasure. But because he was too fat, he had a head full of sweat after running only a few steps, and then he yelled at me to stop.

“Hey! Which set are you from? Do you have any interest in making a guest appearance as a Jap? We have one rape, pillage, kill, and plunder scene.”

I was upset to the point of almost vomiting blood.

Is my face that ferocious and frightening that even China will not accept me and I must be exiled to the Japs?

I clenched my teeth, and showed my rejection with a look of hatred. But the director did not get angry, he only shook his head in regret, and began to scold the Japanese actor even more:

“Do you see that! That’s the expression of a real Jap! You better learn quickly! Don’t be complacent just because you’re fluent in Japanese! Doesn’t your character die in three episodes? It would be hard for you to find your next job if your performance is always this mediocre!”

After seeing a 12-seat electric car pass by every 5 minutes on an inner road, I realized Xiao Qin deliberately took me on a walk because she wanted to be alone with me.

“Um... Ye Lin classmate, can you lend me your phone for a bit? I won’t look at your texts, I just want to see the design... is it okay?”

Xiao Qin requested anxiously.

I know Xiao Qin wanted to buy matching phones, but this knock off was not easily purchasable, so I handed her my phone while feeling at ease.

Xiao Qin found out that she needed two hands to hold the crap phone.

Because the screen was too large, there was a lot of space between the keys of the on screen keyboard. Xiao Qin was not even able to properly dial a number with the length of her thumbs.

Xiao Qin sighed pathetically.

“I... might not be able to get the same phone as you... I couldn’t find the same one online, and my mom already bought me a cellphone. I didn’t want to use it myself when you didn’t have one... Looks like I can only use the phone my mom bought me, how regrettable...”

Why would you want to get the same phone as mines when you already have one at home! What’s the point!

“Oh right! I should put my number in your phone!”

Xiao Qin already opened the contacts list before I had the chance to stop her. Fortunately, there was only the “home” contact in my phone. I still did not have a chance to enter the number the class leader gave. It seems that it’s still written on the English workbook that I left in my desk at school.

Xiao Qin saw my empty address book and could not conceal her inner excitement, and she immediately began creating her own entry.

I saw her typing ‘my dearest wife’ next to the contact name with her clumsy hands...

Whose wife are you? Do you want my caller id to display ‘my dearest wife’ every time you call? Are you trying to slowly brainwash me?! Also, why do you look so happy entering your name, but look confused when trying to enter your number! Did you forget your own number?

After watching Xiao Qin rack her brains for 5 or 6 minutes, I snatched my phone back from her. I pressed the cancel button under her protests and deleted the contact with a corny name.

“Let’s wait until you actually remember you phone number!” I shoved the phone back into my pocket. Xiao Qin wanted to hug onto one of my arms, but I thought Auntie Ren would catch us again, so I declined her:

“Are you still in the mood to flirt after seeing this many martyrs throw away their lives in order to repel the Japanese invaders?”

Xiao Qin pouted, “What does Japanese invaders have to do with me holding your arm! Also, it’s like these sets are filming martial arts films instead of Japanese resistance films! Every time I come here I can see them killing Japs!”

After Xiao Qin and I continued our nonsense conversation for a bit longer. We finally arrived on the set of the “Magic Cauldron”, and it made me burst into tears of joy. This was actually the only American film that had a bit of a Chinese ‘period drama’ feel.

It was currently around nine in the morning, and 40 to 50 people were acting out an imperial palace scene. The empty square in front of the palace walls had dragons carved from white marble. It’s obvious it was mimicking the style of Beijing’s Forbidden City.

There was a temporary mud wall set up about half a meter tall. Twelve warriors in full armor who were holding various weapons were getting ready to act in their scene.

Although their armor glistened under the sun giving it a luxurious feel, you could instantly tell they were only minor characters. They were probably the imperial guards or such and they will be easily defeated by the protagonist or the BOSS.

The proof: They must stand straight and still before the lead actor arrives. Even if a dragonfly landed on their nose, they would be too afraid to swat it since they might make the director angry and get swapped out.

It seems like minor characters have no human rights. I have heard before that although this movie is composed of half Americans and half Chinese, most of the Chinese only play minor characters since the Americans were the ones who provided the capital. They also had an inflexible requirement where you had to have passable English since you could only communicate in English on set.

Those 12 warriors are probably all my compatriots. I can’t believe they would make my countrymen stand for so long under the sun, how cruel!

I was looking left and right for Ai Mi, but instead, I saw Auntie Ren walking towards us.