I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

“Don’t erase it!”

Xiao Qin covered the turtle as if it was a treasure.

“Ye Lin classmate left an ink treasure on my arm... I’ll keep it as a tattoo! I can keep it with me for life!”

Keeping a turtle on you for the rest of your life? Wouldn’t that be the same level as Kyle who has the word ‘hemorrhoid tattooed on him? (By the way, Kyle better not lay his hands on my sister!)

“I don’t care! I want Ye Lin classmate to stay with me for the rest of his life! This turtle is an incarnation of Ye Lin classmate! The turtle is Ye Lin classmate, Ye Lin classmate is the turtle...”

You’re the turtle! (TN: turtle is slang for cuckold) Don’t insult others! Also, as my girlfriend (temporarily) and calling me a turtle, I don’t think you are putting yourself in a good position! What do you plan on doing to make me green! (TN: color green means being cucked)

“Even if I don’t make it a tattoo, I have to turn it into an inscription so I can pass it down as a family heirloom!”

Again with the family heirloom? Now it’s a turtle? How would you explain it when your descendants ask about the implications behind the family heirloom? Would you tell them the turtle is your family’s crest?

I already thought it was pretty embarrassing when the Japanese royal family uses a chrysanthemum as their family crest, but it’s still better than using a turtle!

Chinese emperors can call their offspring dragon’s descendants when they use a dragon as the family crest, but what about me? Would my offspring be the turtle’s descendant’s?

When the bell rang, I immediately ran to the infirmary to borrow some rubbing alcohol (Chen YingRan was currently speaking to a third-year student about the harms of early dating. I suspect her real goal was so the girls would leave the boys all to her). When I got back, the turtle on Xiao Qin’s arm disappeared into thin air and she was sprawled across her table like she could not move.

“What’s wrong?” I asked bewildered, “Where’s the turtle?”

“Lick... I licked it into my stomach...” Xiao Qin said with a painful expression and stuck out her tongue that had turned orange, “Because Ye Lin classmate was going to kill the turtle, I might as well let it take refuge in my stomach... This way, I’ll be one with Ye Lin classmate’s turtle, and we will never be separated!”

You actually licked off the permanent marker? Does your tongue have thorns?! Are you a cat?! If I think back to the kiss we had... it seems like it was very soft and smooth though! How much effort did you spend to lick off the drawing! Your arm is already completely red, did you also lick off a layer of skin?!

“Ye Lin classmate, my tummy hurts...”

Xiao Qin informed me miserably.

Nonsense! Why would your stomach not hurt after ingesting permanent marker? I heard permanent markers contain lead! Luckily I only drew the outline of a turtle, if I colored in the turtle’s shell, wouldn’t you have died of lead poisoning?

Xiao Qin squeezed out a smile with great difficulty while she had intense abdominal pains.

“It’s okay... I have no regrets if I can die as Ye Lin classmate’s girlfriend... I only hope you’ll come to visit me and Gui Gui every Qing Ming Festival...”

Did you already name the turtle? It makes sense if I visit you, but why would I visit the turtle?! What do I have to do with the turtle!

“... as for days other than Qing Ming Festival, I’ll come visit you with Gui Gui...”

How would you come to see me? Are you going to haunt me! Just having your ghost next to me is already excessive, I do not want an extra turtle orbiting next to you!

Then Xiao Qin closed both her eyes and her breathing became shallower as if she was taking her last breath.

Although I thought there was a 70% chance she was faking it, I could not take the risk (For instance, having a moronic girl and a turtle become my protection spirits). Thus I helped Xiao Qin up from her seat without caring if the bell had rung or not.

“What’s wrong with Xiao Qin?” The class leader exclaimed after seeing her painful expression.

“She ate something bad so her stomach hurts!” I responded in a hurry, “I’m taking her to the infirmary!”

The class leader hesitated a bit, “It’s better if I take her. The school rules prohibit opposite sex students from taking each other to the infirmary, it will cause our class to have points deducted!”

Why would I even care about that! Xiao Qin already makes me restless and annoyed when she is alive, think about what would happen if she turns into a ghost!

Thus I told the class leader, “Help me tell the teacher!”, and carried Xiao Qin out of the classroom.

When we went into the hallway, I held Xiao Qin by the arm and walked a few steps, but I felt it was not suitable —— a tall person holding a short person can easily injure their back. What’s more, Xiao Qin can’t even move her feet right now.

The surrounding people all seemed to be laughing at us.

What are you looking at! I’m transferring a patient! Do you guys think I’m kidnapping her?

The one thing I hate most in life is being laughed at. In addition, since Xiao Qin lost consciousness, she would fall on the ground if I let go. Thus I clenched my teeth and put Xiao Qin in a horizontal carry.

You are not mistaken. I put one hand under her back and one hand under her knees, the rumored ‘princess carry’.

Ah, this feels much better! I can finally straighten my back! You lower-life form spectators, you should now understand that I am moving a patient!

Huh? Not only did you guys not understand my intentions and not clap for me, why are you whispering to each other and running away? I could vaguely make out the words ‘kidnap’, ‘drugs’, ‘pitiful’, and it made me uneasy!

Was it a misconception? Why does it feel like the corners of Xiao Qin’s mouth lifted into a sly smile! But once I noticed it, it immediately disappeared and changed back into a painful expression!

I carried the frail Xiao Qin and began my arduous trek down the hallway.

No, it was not difficult carrying Xiao Qin since she was lighter than my punching bag —— what was difficult was the piercing gaze of the spectators.

Damn! I cannot lose! Raise your head and walk with pride! I am doing a good deed so I do not have to be embarrassed! Xiao Qin and I have not violated any school rules!

I was stared at by curious students and teachers along the way, although they never blocked me due to their fear of me, it still made me red to the neck when I was looked at like a public display.

My forehead feels so hot! My heart is racing! Am I the one who is sick?

When we were going down the stairs, I was extremely careful to make sure we would not trip, and it seems like Xiao Qin unconsciously wrapped her arm around my neck.

I suspected she was faking again, but her soft body, shallow breathing, and her slightly wrinkled brows made me unable to think. Finally, I gave up and carried her to the infirmary.

Chen YingRan was stunned when she saw me push open the door while carrying Xiao Qin, then she smiled and asked:

“What are you guys up to now? Do you want to use the infirmary as a hotel?”

I was upset she was still joking around when Xiao Qin was unconscious.

“Enough, female perv! I brought Xiao Qin here as a patient!”

“Patient?” It was as if Chen YingRan heard something interesting, “Your face was so red that I thought you couldn’t hold back your lust!”

When I placed Xiao Qin down on the bed, it seems like she resisted a bit and was reluctant to let go.

She finally was aware the princess carry had to end and she could only let go and pretend to be unconscious.

At this time, I already determined she was faking, but I was still not sure if there would be any harmful effects from eating permanent marker ink.

“Stomach pain? Ate something dirty?” Chen YingRan asked half-heartedly, “What did she eat to get like this?”

“She ate a turtle... no, marker ink! Will she get lead poisoning?”

“Lead poisoning?” Chen YingRan fanned herself with the medical records book, her half-translucent shirt presented her exaggerated cleavage.

“How can she have lead poisoning? You’re underestimating the human body! It’s not like we’re Americans, all 1.3 billion Chinese people have eaten all elements of the periodic table. Even the you tiao they sell on the street stalls contain more lead!”

“Huh? So according to what you said, we can eat anything that contains lead?”

“Well... not exactly, since it’s still a heavy metal. If you’re worried, you can let her drink some milk to neutralize it!”

I reached into my pockets to find my wallet, but did not expected Chen YingRan to laugh and scold me:

“Don’t loosen your belt! I was not referring to your self-produced ‘milk’!”

Who was loosening their belt! When did you see me loosen my belt! As expected, everything becomes dirty in the eyes of an impure person!

When I returned with two cartons of milk, I heard chatting and laughter sounds through the door of the infirmary.

“...you faked death and he believed you? He’s so pure!”

“I never expected Ye Lin classmate would carry me. Sis Ying Ran, I think I’m getting a fever!”

“You’re too excited, do you want a tranquilizer? I often give myself a shot after I give a boy a physical...”

Bastard! She was tricking me as expected! I really want to just finish these two cartons of milk right now! If it was not because I hate strawberry milk, I would not even save a drop for you!