I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

After a tour of the special education school and listening to Peng TouSi’s shocking alliance proposition, I clasped my hands together and sank into a long silence.

I stared at Peng TouSi’s broad back and became more and more suspicious.

“Peng TouSi, I have one more question!”

“Please ask.”

“If I think about it, isn’t Ai ShuQiao your savior? She saved you from the clutches of crime syndicates, haven’t you always been grateful to her? Aren’t you mistaking your target of devotion by becoming her husband’s spy!?”

Peng TouSi calmly parked the car on the side of the road as if he already expected my question. He loosened his necktie and slowly popped off the buttons of his suit one by one —— fuck, why is this homo removing his clothes in front of me! Did you betray Ai ShuQiao because you have your eyes on me and you are planning on devoting your life to me?!

The fortunate part among the unfortunate situation was that Peng TouSi only removed the top buttons of his shirt to reveal his muscular pecs and did not remove any more.

He saw my fearful expression and comforted me by saying:

“Lin, don’t be afraid, I only want you to take a look at my body.”

Look my ass! I’m even more scared now! Why do you have to be a homo with such a manly body, and why do I have to be 0! I can’t beat you if you’re a 1, so go find someone who won’t be defeated in one punch!

I felt Peng TouSi’s smile was very ambiguous, “Lin, you’re making me restless by staring at my chest... Don’t misunderstand, I only want you to see the scars on my body.”

Only after Peng TouSi’s words did I notice the scary moon crater-like gunshot wounds on his body (I was not looking seriously before). There were an uncountable amount of them, looks like Ai Mi was not exaggerating when she said Peng TouSi’s body was turned into a beehive.

“Were you shot by a crime syndicate using an SMG?”

I asked after taking in a deep breath.

Peng TouSi nodded and pointed to his dark red star-shaped injury near his heart:

“Although it hurt a lot at the moment and it even hurts occasionally now, I don’t hate this injury, and I don’t even hate the criminals who gave me this injury. Because I was able to meet the dazzling God as I lay bleeding on the grounds of Los Angeles.”

That was probably the point of near–death? Though it was probably true those criminals almost nearly sent Peng TouSi to see God.

“For someone who grew up in the slums and fought bloody battles in underground rings, I’ve never once thought God would be so dazzling and divine. His manliness held me captive. At that instant, I was so happy and felt at peace...”

Wait, although it sounds like you became more fulfilled, why does the wording sound off? Why do I have a bad feeling?

“For someone like me who has never had good things in life, that gunfire was miraculous. Especially the shot that hit near my heart, I was able to realize the true meaning of love and that was my first love...”

Fuck that! Is your first love God?! How sacrilegious, if you said that in medieval times, you would have been burned at the stake! Even the Vatican’s pope would stick his middle finger at you!

“I awoke among expensive and cold apparatuses, but I did not feel joy returning to this world —— I knew I had lost my first love. But I was able to hear God’s instructions, and from that point on, I became a resolute homosexual!”

Holy mother of Jesus, what kind of instructions are you even talking about! Do you think God brought you there to instruct you to be a homo? Wouldn’t that God be too senseless? It was all a part of your imagination, right? It was probably because it was not satisfying being penetrated by bullets and you wanted to be penetrated by something else!

Peng TouSi’s gaze towards the distance was abstruse and peaceful.

“In Russia’s underground fighting rings, I was nicknamed the ‘Black Death God’, but I did not know happiness. Opponents who fell down on the floor covered in blood only made me feel a sense of relief. I already knew from long ago that victory and taking things from others would not give you happiness. You could only achieve happiness through love —— I was fortunate the bullet passed through me and taught me how to be humble before I became too arrogant because of my consecutive victories.”

“From the perspective of American society, Ai ShuQiao is a hard to come by person who is successful, but from God’s and my point of view, she is not as happy as she believes. She has achieved too many victories, but she has not experienced any punishments for her arrogance —— she needs God’s bullet even more than me. She will get sent to Hell if she does not learn some humility from failure!”

Peng TouSi took a deep breath.

“This is why I am ‘betraying’ Madam Ai ShuQiao. She saved my life and I want to save her soul. I cannot let her commit any more atrocities, I must stop her!”

Peng TouSi’s declaration left me speechless. He might not be a good fit as a subordinate, but as a friend —— I am referring to the type without a physical relationship —— he makes me moved. I also wish I have a friend like him next to me if I walk down the wrong path.

I asked Peng TouSi to directly drive me to school. I did not go home to get my bag since I did not finish yesterday’s homework anyways.

Peng TouSi said he got off the plane early in the morning and he did not have the chance to meet up with Ai Mi. I told him Ai Mi was restless without him next to her side and Obama was also missing his left leg, I told him to quickly reunite with her and the dog.

“Please be cautious.” Peng TouSi warned before he left, “Even if Mr. John is acting as a deterrence, Madam Ai ShuQiao can still attack you from a completely unexpected angle. Although God is a good man, you don’t want to meet him this young.”

You still cannot forget God, your first love? Don’t worry, I won’t be your love rival! Try to do good things and continue your relationship with God after you go to heaven!

Right when I was about to flip over the school wall, I saw someone stick their hand out to stop Peng TouSi’s black taxi. He probably wanted to take a cab somewhere, but he immediately ran away screaming when he saw Peng TouSi’s face that was riddled with scars.

Hmph, he was only judging someone by appearances. Peng TouSi is a great man who has even been approved by God!

I sat on top of the wall and looked at my watch, it was almost eleven. It should be around the break for the third class of the day. Since the back doors are always locked except during lunch and after school, there should not be anyone nearby at this time.

Thus I jumped down the wall with that in mind. But when my feet hit the ground, I was horrified when I discovered I was sitting on top of something soft.

Fuck! It was a girl who was tying her shoelaces. Why did she come here to tie her shoes when the school is so large! Do you not know the back doors are locked at this time!

Fortunately, I was able to instinctively avoid the strange blob beneath me, otherwise, I might have killed her if I directly stepped on her.

This girl who was only wearing a sleeveless vest with shorts was suddenly under my crotch. She did not even release a high-pitch scream, instead, she shouted in a loud voice like a man:

“Damn! What is it?”

She had a hoarse voice, but if you listened closely, it was still very enchanting.

Ah, her bare neck and arms are golden brown, and she had two band-aids! It’s Xiong YaoYue! Even though we are both PE committee members, we never really communicated much! I never expected to ride on top of her to improve our relationship!

What’s even worse is I pulled my leg muscle when I got spooked! I am now stuck on top of Xiong YaoYue’s back!

Am I not treating Xiong YaoYue as my chair? Shit! She must be angry! I’m dead if she reports me to the class leader!

“Ah, which bastard is riding on me like a horse?” Xiong YaoYue gritted her teeth and turned her head but she could not see my face, “Hurry and get off or I’m gonna transform!”

Transform...? Do you think you are ultraman?!

After a couple of deep breaths I was able to alleviate the cramp and came off her back. Xiong YaoYue finished tying her shoes, then she stood up straight and realized it was me.

“So it’s you!” Xiong YaoYue made the motion of rolling up her sleeves (although she does not have sleeves), “Do you think I’m easy to bully?”

“Wait, wait!” I waved my hands in a hurry, “I didn’t sit on your back on purpose! I flipped the wall and didn’t notice anyone on the bottom...”

Not sure if it was because I interrupted her train of thought, but Xiong YaoYue stood in a daz with her mouth agape for a period of time. Suddenly, as if she was struck by lightning, she exclaimed:

“No! Do you think I’m dumb? That I would believe everything you say?”

She pointed to the area between us.

“You squat here. It’ll make us even if I ride you for a bit!”

She was not the least bit shy. It was completely like a solution proposed for a fight between two men.

“Um, Xiong classmate....”

“I told you already, don’t call me Xiong classmate!” Xiong YaoYue vented in anger, “You can call me Yue Yue like the other boys! You’re still not squatting down? I’m in a rush!”