I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

I could not even properly assess my feelings as she lied right to my face and told me the mafia snatched Optimus Prime. I unwittingly picked Xiao Qin up by her waist and opened the door like I was about to go toss trash away.

Unfortunately, the Mahjong Auntie from downstairs was also heading downstairs and she was holding a bag of kitchen waste. She saw me open the door all of a sudden while carrying something under my arms. Her eyesight was poor, so she said:

“Are you also heading out to toss out the trash?”

When I got closer, she saw Xiao Qin who was being held like baggage. An extremely pitiful expression appeared on her face as if to say: I am the trash that’s about to be thrown out.

Even though I have thrown away blow–up dolls late and night and was mistaken as a murderer by my neighbors, the Auntie was extremely startled to see me holding a live person as trash.

“What? You don’t want this either?!”

Although I wanted the Auntie to help me toss Xiao Qin in the trash, I stopped to avoid another misunderstanding. I could only flash a bitter smile and carry Xiao Qin back inside.

I had a lot of strength but it’s not like I was the Hulk. It was still heavy carrying Xiao Qin with one arm, so I planned to throw her on the sofa when I returned to the living room. But we only had a single sofa and it was not large enough to fit her horizontally on it.

I never thought much about it and went into my bedroom and threw her onto my single bed.

Xiao Qin was stilly carrying her maroon backpack and she still had her canvas shoes on her feet. She was spread out across my bed like she had zero energy and she buried her red face in my pillows.

“Ye Lin classmate, as expected... is this the only way to cool your temper?”

“Huh?”

Xiao Qin laid flat down on my bed with an obedient expression. She was careful to not let her shoes dirty the bed and she laid out in an X position.

“Um, are you not going to take off my backpack? Does Ye Lin classmate like me wearing my bag? Does it give you additional pleasures when I wear my bag?”

“—— But I probably have to remove my shoes, right? It’s not high heels so it can’t really improve the mood... I’m sorry I’m really not used to wearing high heels. I knew Ye Lin classmate would punish me, but I can’t believe I didn’t dress myself up, I’m really lacking in manners...”

Xiao Qin flopped down on my bed and stopped moving like a dead fish when she finished speaking.

Are you trying to seduce me? You are trying to seduce me! But why do I feel like you are not trying to seduce me at all? An outsider would think you fainted on my bed!

I remember when Su Qiao seduced me at the hotel. Although her skill was lacking, she at least took off her clothes! How do you want to take care of the issue when you did not even untie your shoelaces?

No, I’m not expecting Xiao Qin to remove her clothes. I only want to criticize her unprofessionalism.

Xiao Qin remained silent on the bed for a short while but raised her head slightly when she realized I was not coming closer.

“Ye Lin classmate, are you still angry? I can’t even use this method as an apology?”

How are you apologizing?! Are you prostrating? You’re facing the wrong direction! You should at least bow your head to me! No one wants to look under your skirt!

“Um, is it because I didn’t dress properly? I went through my mother’s underwear drawer, but she already burned all her sexy lingerie after she got divorced. Even if I found one, it wouldn’t be the right size...”

“That’s why I’m wearing ordinary clothes on the outside and the inside, what a shame...”

What’s a shame is that you went through Auntie Ren’s lingerie drawer! Even if you were wearing sexy underwear, it wouldn’t really change your current dead fish appearance.

I suddenly thought there was no way Xiao Qin inherited Auntie Ren’s height since she was so short. Auntie Ren did not have a flat chest either, did those genes come from Xiao Qin’s father?

“Knock knock knock”, I walked out from my bedroom, it was a food delivery.

Originally, I thought I would be celebrating the return of brother Optimus Prime, so I purposely ordered some good food from a restaurant that just opened downstairs. I ordered a serving of charcoal chicken (it was half price due to recent fears of avian flu), an order of shrimp fried rice, three skewers of grilled squid, two colas, and a serving of fries.

Now she’s lying and telling me the mafia snatched brother Optimus Prime! I would have definitely finished all the food by myself if this restaurant served smaller portions!

After I placed the delicious food on the dining table, I went back to check on Xiao Qin. I have no idea when she had removed the bag and placed it next to her.

Hmph, didn’t you say you wanted to do a bag play? Why did you change your mind so quickly? As expected, women are fickle creatures!

Xiao Qin was able to smell the scent of the food wafting from the dining room and her stomach growled. I guess she expended too much energy when she went home in a hurry and came here?

She slightly turned her head and said without any confidence:

“Ye Lin classmate, can I still eat even though I lost Optimus Prime?”

“No!” I replied in a bad mood, you couldn’t protect Optimus Prime, but you still want to eat? Just stay hungry!

Xiao Qin stuffed her face into the pillow, “But... they had too many people! They used guns to force me to hand over brother Optimus Prime! Some even had rocket launchers!”

Are you talking about the mafia or Chechnya terrorists! Even the Boston terrorists didn’t even use such advanced equipment! Why would they try so hard to steal brother Optimus Prime? Could it be me from another dimension?

Xiao Qin swallowed her saliva after she smelled the scent of grilled squid, then she sadly:

“Okay, I won’t eat, I’ll just lie here and listen to the sound of Ye Lin classmate eating to quench my hunger... But I might cry due to my hunger...”

Who wants to listen to cries while eating!

“Also, I won’t have any energy if I don’t eat. Once you finish eating and come to copulate with me, I might not have the energy to cooperate. I might be like a block of wood or a corpse, but don’t blame me...”

Do you think I would ‘copulate’ with you after I finish eating? I think you watched too many period dramas! Also, who wants to do corpse play with you? Do you think I have such heavy tastes?

It seems the restaurant downstairs has pretty good skills. I was attracted by the smell even from here, it’s time to go and fill my stomach.

Ever since my dad watched a documentary about North Korea, he always told me it was a crime to waste food. I might as well let you eat first then take care of you after you’re done eating!

Xiao Qin had a bright face when she heard I would let her eat first. She quickly got up and carefully kneeled towards me and made sure she would not dirty the bed with her shoes and said:

“R... really! You’re such a good person! In order to repay this debt, I’ll definitely serve you properly when I’m full!”

Is your ‘serve’ this cheap? Are you a poor homeless girl who sells matches!

I indifferently beckoned her to eat but she extended both her hands.

“Hug...me!”

Who wants to hug you! Don’t try to take advantage of me!

Xiao Qin frowned, “But... my shoes are dirty, if you don’t hug me, the floors would get dirty!”

I snorted, “Then take off your shoes.”

Xiao Qin became more anxious, “It’s fine if I step on the floors with my socks, but where should I put my shoes after I take it off?”

I pointed towards the window sill where I was keeping my stinky unwashed socks, “Just leave it there!”

Xiao Qin pouted and unwillingly took off her shoes.

Her socks were much cleaner than mines. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it was completely free of even one speck of dust. It looks like it’s the result of Xiao Qin never participating in PE activities.

I threw a pair of slippers next to the bed. It was a pretty big size, but neither Ior my dad was short.

Xiao Qin followed into the dining room while dragging her slippers. She elatedly hugged me from behind when she saw the grilled squid and shrimp fried rice.

“Haha~ \(≧▽≦)/~ Ye Lin classmate is the best! You actually remembered what I like to eat!”

Of course! You reminded meso many times you were interested in seafood that it would be weird if I didn’t remember! Hurry up and let go of my chest and abs! They were trained in order to defeat you! It’s disrespectful for you to be hugging them! Also, don’t rub your face on my back!

After I pried Xiao Qin’s small and tender white hands from my chest, I urged her to eat quickly. I will deal with her after we finish eating.