Chapter 256 Shattered Heart
Lucius had spent seventy-two hours since Kalliope's disappearance constantly searching for her. Varris turned up without any leads to get into Seteste. Therentil finally provided an answer to their problems and pointed them to someone in the capital who might assist.
When pressured on why he didn't come forward with the solution before then, all he would say was it was his last-ditch effort. This answer did not sit well with Lucius. In his mind, he should have been the one to decide if something was a final option or not.
However, Therentil maintained that the person they could contact was someone busy with other tasks. He insisted that they still try to search for other people, but Lucius put a stop to his whining with a series of lightning strikes in the center of Varris. Each one came within inches of striking the elf guide which persuaded him to simply guide them to their contact.
Jade and Desmond pestered him about sleep, but how could he? Every time he closed his eyes he relived the moment he read that letter and every emotion after.
The strongest among them was shame. He was ashamed that he allowed this to happen under his nose. They were simply separated by a single wall, yet the attackers managed to evade his senses. Somehow they covered up their scents as well as Kalliope's. There were many times in his life that he had faced setbacks and struggled with success, but this was the first time he truly felt like he failed.
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For what felt like the thousandth time that day alone, Lucius faced the sky. His eyes and head stung as he fought back tears of loss and frustration. He felt the warmth of the sun on his mask, which he had not taken off since the incident. Not only did it hide the way his face looked right now, but it acted as his shield.
While the mask was on, he was Titan; Commander of the King's Shadow, Conqueror of Alvora, Hero of Eroa, Champion of Arcadios Royal Academy… bearer of the Mark of the Abyss/Celestia.
An all too familiar chill settled at the base of his skull, trying desperately to calm his nerves. This sensation invaded his consciousness every few hours and just like every time prior, he felt the sensation shatter. No matter how hard Grimm tried to control his emotions, in the face of Kalliope, the entity was powerless.
Grimm was not afraid to let him know its displeasure. It warned him that acting too rashly and on emotion could mess up their plans in Aedrider. Grimm continued to argue that using rage and grief was helpful when needing to fight, but detrimental when trying to think logically.
Even Luz joined Grimm in trying to persuade Lucius to calm his nerves. Lucius was having none of it, though. He simply told them to shove their opinions where the light didn't shine. After the first thirty-six hours, they stopped talking to him, but Grimm was still trying to manipulate Lucius's mental state.
A wave of exhaustion washed over his body, making him stagger momentarily. Desmond rushed up behind him and steadied his gait. They were walking through a small village where they asked around about travelers taking a Gray Wolf with them. Unfortunately the simple villagers knew nothing, or at least claimed to know nothing.
"Had I the energy… then…" Lucius mumbled.
"Then what? You would have threatened to wipe them out?" Desmond questioned.
"Yes."
"But you don't have the energy, do you?"Nôv(el)B\\jnn
Lucius responded with a simple glare, but it had no weight behind it. For once, Desmond appeared as though Lucius's steely gaze had lost its effects. Instead of mocking the black-haired man, Desmond only gave a pathetic smile.
"Look, I get it." The man said while adjusting his spear so he could hook Lucius's arm over his neck. "You feel like you failed. I've been there."
"Is that so?"
Desmond smiled again, this time one filled with regret. He shifted a glance to his sister, who was enjoying the wind blowing through her hair at the side of the carriage they brought with them.
"You think I enjoy lugging her around the continent with me?" Desmond asked. "Truly, this isn't a life meant for her. Every day she waits, the worse my failure becomes."
"How could you say you failed when you fight every day to give her that future?" Lucius demanded. "Do you not give yourself grace for…"
Desmond chuckled while Lucius fell silent. "Do I not give myself grace for still trying? A great question, my friend."
Lucius stopped and cocked an eyebrow at the purple haired man.
"Apologies, Lord Kane." Desmond laughed. "You may not call me such, but if I am to be honest, you… Rena, Kalliope, Natali… Lyrah… you are all the closest thing I have to friends. I don't disparage you for not wanting me to call you that… but aside from that, what I said remains true.
"What you were about to ask me was a great question, and it is one you should ask yourself. Sure, you feel like you failed her by 'letting' her get taken. However, you have done all you can, short of mass murder, to get her back. I would say you haven't failed yet. Failure comes when you stop trying to succeed. I think."
Lucius reappraised his thoughts about Desmond who halfway carried him back to their carriage. He never would have guessed such sage advice to come from one such as him. Desmond had the vibes of a warrior through and through, not one of a scholar. Though, Lucius did remember that he was a member of a noble family.
"Wise words," Lucius whispered. "Thank you for your input."
"Merely the ramblings of a disgraced noble's son. Pay me no mind. Though, if what I say resonates, then maybe you will repay me by getting rest."
"Even though I will have the energy to pull off that massacre you mentioned?"
Desmond pondered the question for a moment. "Then I suppose we will handle it when the time comes. Though I don't agree with your methods, I cannot argue the results or the purpose."
"Noted."
Desmond and Jade helped him into the carriage where Therentil was waiting. He had long gotten used to Lucius's temperament and chose to remain silent for the moment. Lucius clambered into the carriage with his unsteady legs. It took him little to no time to collapse into a heap in the corner of the vehicle.
He thought back to the conversation with Desmond and smiled for a moment before allowing sleep to take him for the first time in days.