My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

It was the scandal of the millennium, the biggest breaking news that's ever been broken - forget everything you've ever learned, throw away all your knowledge on the world's history, none of that matters now.

Why?

'Cause Amanda Collins of internet fame was no longer single.

Everything else was no longer relevant. When you live and breathe from henceforth, know that this is what our schools will be teaching, what our religions would be based around - people sometimes wonder just what the meaning of life truly could be, and well, I'm elated to say, we finally found ourselves the answer.

Sorry, does that sound utterly ridiculous and completely fucking stupid to the rational common mind? If so, then good. Means I'm still normal as of now, and Tyler was the one that's completely losing it.

Because according to his world view, that's exactly what's gonna happen. I'll spare you the meltdown and just skim over ahead to the aftermath. No one wants to see a grown man do the things he did, trust me. You're all better without such cursed knowledge.

Anyway, after Tyler finally settled and sorta-not-really adjust to the reality of me dating not just one sizzling hot bombshell, but two sizzling hot bombshells, at the same time.

His words by the way, not mine.

After the initial shock had subsided, Tyler, much to the dismay of the entire human populace, went back to his normal self, and soon enough he was also gushing, fawning, and eyeing Amanda just as much as he did Adalia.

Only this time, I can hardly blame him for it. That outfit on her leaves so much and yet so little to the imagination, it really shouldn't be possible.

I asked her about it just before she left to go roaming the entire length of the house for her missing comb, and all I got from her was, "It's hot. I wear what I want. Don't be a dad."

Which - alright, fine - guess I'll keep my compliments to myself, then.

Then suddenly, she went and 180'd herself.

"Since you've asked anyway," She said, angling her head. "So? What do you think?"

And to that, to her eyes that waited intensely for my answer, all I had to say was, "Amanda, I'm a guy. What do I think, do you think?"

"Clever answer," She said, giving a wry smile. "You're too kind."

Then, with a toss of her ponytail, she started her search.

Tyler, meanwhile, one eye ogling, went back to recording himself again, that gleeful look on his face as he powered the camera back could hardly wait to milk this new piece of info for all that it's worth.

"Yo guys? Remember Collins? Remember how the internet freaked trying to find out who the hell she followed on her account? Shit guys, you're all never gonna believe this..."

I gave his ramblings a brief listen, and from the fervor in his voice, it sounded like he just got himself the magnum opus of his video-making career. This point, I don't think no other stranger is ever going to top this. I pity the next house.

Somewhere down the line, I got a name change as well, I went from being the 'Big Man' to the 'Player Boy', and honestly, I'm still not sure which one makes me want to stab myself the most.

With all the ongoings that have happened so far just this afternoon, I certainly wasn't lacking for stimulations no more.

Indeed, for the first time in a long time, I forgot what being bored even felt like. That's not the only thing too... I actually felt more at ease than I ever had been this past week and a half.

This was probably the longest I went without refreshing the news feed - hell, my phone wasn't even in my hand anymore.

Watching Amanda scour around the place while at the same time avoiding the lenses of Tyler's camera was a far more entertaining prospect than swiping my thumb up and down.

Truth be told, I was actually having fun. I suppose that's why it also ended too soon...

Adalia tapped my shoulder.

"Instructions..." She muttered faintly. "You need... to..."

"Rest," I finished for her, sighing deeply. "I know, I know."

"I'm... sorry..."

"No, don't say that. You're doing your job. You're right, should be asleep by now... got to get better, right?"

I flashed her a smile that quickly became strained as I forced myself back up on my feet.

That little wobble in my knees, a funny tingling in my head... yeah, I pushed myself far enough already.

Adalia hastily stood up after me, "I'll... help you..." she said, before stretching her hand out for my own.

But it never reached.

My bandaged hand was but bare inches from the tips of her claws before she stopped herself.

"Oh..." She dropped her voice, lowered her arm. "I... forgot again..."

Yeah, fuck that.

Cold as ice. Soft as snow. And I never noticed just how small they really were, not until I had my hand fully holding onto hers.

"Ahh..." Adalia tilted her misty gaze, slightly widening in surprise. "Your... hand..."

"Yep," I said, nodding. "That is indeed my hand, yes."

Seeing her look so taken aback was first for me. Adalia doesn't do emotion like most people.

"But..." She raised her eyes towards mine, "I promise... I... wouldn't..."

I gripped even tighter and pulled her along with me towards the stairs, "Well, I didn't promise anything."

Adalia didn't say anything else, so I didn't say anything else. So silently, she helped me traverse up the mighty inclines one step at a time, hand in hand.

Funny, now that was actually holding on to it, her jagged claws didn't look as frightening to me anymore.

Granted, I was still a little tense, and I doubt that feeling will be going away anytime soon. But that aside, this was a good first step.

And I'm fine at traversing those inclines one step at a time too.

"Oh-ho!" A whimsical voice echoed from the bottom of the steps. "Where you two lovebirds think you're going?"

And... mood ruined. Thanks, Tyler.

"I'm calling it a night," I answered back, reaching the final step with one final gasp. "I'll be in my room."

"For real?" He stared out the window. "Doesn't look like night out there to me, Player Boy. Don't forget too - you still got like twenty hours or something!"

"Look, I'm tired. Find your own damn entertainment till I wake up, alright?" I said, wobbling myself down the hall. "It's a big house, TV's just there, go nuts."

I heard a scoff. "With babes like these hanging around here? For sure, easy peasy."

"Tyler..."

"Ah - gotcha again!" He clapped his hands. "Nah for reals, like I said, won't do ya like that. Cross my heart. Get some nice healthy sleep, alright?"

That's the plan…

"Woah, a cat!" A high pitch squeal. "Guys, check it out! Came out nowhere this one… ain't it cute?"

Looks like Mr. Black has got my back, despite me bonking him hard on the head. Seriously, you're gonna make me cry, that's true loyalty right there. You entertain him good alright, Blackie? I'm just gonna tap out a bit.

Midday down the hall, we came face to face with Amanda once more. A prominent frown on her face signifying a lack of headway.

"Are you even sure you left it here?" I asked her.

"I'm not sure of anything anymore, to be honest," She said, shaking her head. "If it isn't home, it's here... I'm only ever here if not home."

"That's kinda sad."

"Says the guy so desperate for entertainment, he'll let a literal pig into his house just for a few laughs."

I snorted. "Touché."

"You realize once he publishes that video, there's gonna be a mob after you right?" Amanda said, raising her brows. "The whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing? I know some of my viewers won't take too kindly to that... people are just weird like that."

"Hey, you're the one who - !"

"I know," She interjected, blowing a breath. "My mistake. I wasn't thinking..."

"You had the entirety of the male population to choose from, that, and fake names too," Now I was shaking my head. "Tell me, why did you feel the need to point that gun at me? Do you actually want me dead, after all?"

"Look, I don't know! When I was thinking of potential boyfriends, the first one that came to mind was..."

She paused.

"Was?" I repeated.

"My brush," Her eyes perked up, and she brushed past Adalia and me in an instant. "I remember now! Hold that thought! I'm going to look for it!"

'Kay then, that's one way to exit a conversation.

The last few steps took everything left there was in me. Rest of the way to my room, Adalia did most of the heavy lifting.

Opening the door, shambling me to bed, balancing me so I don't fall.

She didn't once let go of my hand until I had a pillow against my head and my feet tucked underneath the sheets.

"I'll wake you... later..." Adalia muttered, stepping back. "When it's time... for feeding..."

I rose a thumb up at her before plummeting it down atop the blanket.

"And thank... you..."

Now instead of my thumb, it was my head, staring right at her through a small gap in the doorway.

"For what?" I asked.

I caught it, saw it. No figment of fatigue. No trick of the light. A small smile through and through. Just as the gap quietly clicked shut.

"For being... you..."