[Book Three] Chapter 17: Shenanigans

Chapter 17: Shenanigans

The cure was ready.

They would soon be arriving on Tuchanka and everyone was a bit tense. From what Wrex had told them, the reapers were already on the planet. Not in as large a number as on Earth but in a significant quantity.
Rick has been avoiding Jane as much as he could. Partly because he was still pissed at for the consequences of the lightsaber incident - that he caused - and partly because his feelings were all over the place. Every morning since she gave him that blowjob, she had been relentless with her advances. Just as she said her assault consisted on everything she could think of. Blowjobs, handjobs, titjobs, buttjobs, even footjobs! This morning she took it up a notch by going so far as rimming him. Any sane man would have been in paradise and would have long bred the gorgeous redhead for everything they were worth but sanity and Rick were two things you never associated in the same sentence unless there was the prefix ‘in’ put in front of the first of them.
Yet Rick didn’t fold his half-sister in half on her own bed while pounding her with everything he had with abandon. He would have loved every second of it and loved every second of what she did to him but that scared him. She was gaining ground on him and wanted to fight back, but the way she did it, the way she approached him, and approached the things she did left him defenseless. And he loved that too which terrified him even more, continuing the cycle. And that was not just in the mornings. After three consecutive nights spent with either Liara or Ashley or EDI to avoid spending time with Jane in a bed, the redhead took drastic measures.
When she had free time - which on a spaceship with an AI happens a lot - she spent it with him. Not all the time though, but just enough to make him crazy. A subtle caress here and there with a lingering hand when people were around, like the other day at dinner when she gently grabbed his inner thigh really close to his crotch. In private? She was even more devious. Distracting him with a combination of a tit job and a very sloppy blowjob while he was working? Checked. Multiple times. She was driving him crazy and his only escape was spending time with others in public or spending time with Ashley and Liara. The latter happened sparingly and Rick suspected that the reason for it was to help Jane indirectly.

Currently Rick was lifting weight and has been for hours. Something that he would not normally do as this type of repetitive physical effort was not something he liked. Sure he did it a bit to keep in shape and because Aria would tan his hide if he’d ever let himself go but he normally prefers doing something else and more intellectually productive. He did not have much of a choice though and the physical effort allowed him to disconnect his brain for a bit. No more thought of the reapers, projects or his accursedly and obscenely hot half-sister that wanted into both his pants and heart.
Anyone that knew Rick a bit knew that something was wrong but didn’t say anything because they were either into it like Jane, Liara, Ashley, wanted no part of it like Garrus, decided that it wasn’t their business like James or simply enjoyed and observed the sight like EDI and Steve but for different reasons.

Putting down the weight Rick looked at the time. He had missed dinner - which he didn’t really care about - and opted to simply go back to his room for a good hot shower and get a good night of sleep. If six hours of sleep could be considered a good night. He went up to the CIC and when he tried to enter his quarters he persecuted the door which didn’t open. Confused for a moment he turned around and looked at Traynor who had let out a cute snort and was trying to make herself invisible.

“Something funny, Minnie?”

Minnie was the nickname Rick had given her, because she reminded him of a cute little mouse but mouse wasn’t really fitting so Minnie came into play for Minnie mouse the wife of an old mascot of the twentieth century which was a humanoid mouse.

“N-no.”
“Uh-huh. Enjoy it as much as you can Minnie, ‘cause god knows you need it after all those defeats at chess.”

Traynor gaped, scandalized. Her uninterrupted string of defeat at chess against him and EDI was driving her mad. It was something Rick started doing to get away from Jane. He had heard the com specialist commenting like she loved strategy games specially chess and played many times on one of the dining tables. So many that there was now a pool to determine how many moves she’ll survive the onslaught of the AI and the Genius each time the board was brought up.

“I’ll beat you one day!” she protested with determination after recovering from the jab.
“It’s good to have dreams but don’t get lost in them, okay? Reality matters more.” he taunted again before changing the subject. “Know anything about that.” he said pointing to the door of his room with his thumb.
“Only that both EDI are in there, no.”
“EDI, I hope you’re not playing with yourself with… yourself. If you do, there better be a recorded video of it.” he announced jokingly making Traynor’s jaw hung low at his shamelessness. Something that she was only recently getting accustomed to. She was even more shocked when the AI answered in kind.
“I am not masturbating if that’s what you’re implying. I’m fine tuning myself.”
“My apologies. I understand completely, I fine tuned myself plenty of times as a teenager, I know how that can be. Anyways, can you open the door please?”
“I cannot. Commander’s order.”
“Why the… That’s it, I’m going to kill her. She’s gone too far.” he said angrily before taking the elevator towards Jane’s cabin.

Marching with fury, he entered her room well intending to metaphorically tear up a new one when he froze in place the moment he saw the said woman completely naked on the bed plunging repeatedly and fiercely a huge sky blue dildo - which reminded him of his own’ little Ric’s size - with both hands. As Jane pussy welcomed the entirety of the sex toy she was using, she saw Rick standing there. She had been on the verge of an orgasm when the last push against her cervix and the surprising - but not unwanted - sight of her half-brother triggered her climax. A powerful one at that as her back arched mightily - thrusting her breasts up with force - while her pussy gushed like a fountain. The very loud, primal and guttural scream she let out didn’t do anything to prove otherwise, neither her eyes rolling back into her head.
When her body fell back onto the bed her breath was ragged and her chest heaving. After a minute her body calmed down and she raised her head to look at Rick who was still frozen in place. Gathering every bit of strength she could muster, which currently in this state wasn’t much she got out of bed and went to it. The blue sky dildo that was still inside of her fell from her cunt along the way in a deafening thud on the ground. When she reached him just up the small steps she removed the jaw part of his helmet with one hand and reached for her flooded core with the other. With Rick’s mouth unobstructed she put two of her now very wet fingers into his mouth so he could have a taste of her. Instinctively he sucked on them like a baby would suck on a pacifier. When she removed the now cleaned finger she kissed him lovingly, briefly but with burning passion then took his hand and dragged him to bed. Only then did the man she loved get back from his shock.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!”
“What?” Jane replied a bit confused.
“Is that why you locked me out of my room? So I could watch you fuck yourself? Is it another of your twisted moves to seduce me?”
“No. That’s two separate things. I mean, I asked EDI to lock you out so you’d have no place to go but here but me taking care of myself wasn’t part of the plan. I thought you’d come later and that I’d have time. It worked better than expected though.”
“Better than expected?”
“Well… I just had perhaps the most mind blowing orgasm of my life and that made you react nicely.” She said as she looked down at a very big and noticeable bulge in the crotch area with a smirk.
“Order EDI to open my room.” he said pointedly.
“No. You won’t spend the night with me if I do that.”
“Yes! Because I shouldn’t have to! That’s the point of having my own quarters!”
“I don’t care. You’re spending the night with me and that’s final.” She said, pushing him down on the bed and straddling him.
“Red…” he began to protest.
“Shhhhh.” Jane interjected as she put a finger on his mouth. “Just this night. You’re free to sleep wherever or with whoever afterwards, at least for a while. Tonight, you’re with me. You haven’t been here for days and I miss you.”
“And I should care because?”
“Because you’re my brother? Because you love me? Because you love what I do to you in the morning and want to see what lewd act I will come up with? Because you love snuggling my body with your head buried in my girls? Take your pick.”
“... I need a shower.”

He dropped the conversation completely because he didn’t know how to answer. He was definitely leaning towards finding out what she would do in the morning but there was no way he would say it out loud.
He tried to get up but Jane pushed him back down with force.

“You can go take a shower once you answer one question.”
“... Fine.”
“Do I taste good?”
“What?!”
“Do I. Taste. Good?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention.”

Jane sighed in resignation then got off of him, letting him go. As she saw him starting to disrobe through the glass separating her living and working area she had a sudden idea. Getting up she walked towards the shower.

“I need one too and it’s for reducing the waste of the water. Yeah, that’s good enough for an excuse.”  she thought as she entered her occupied shower with a smirk on her face.

____________________________________________________________


Diana Allers didn’t know what to think about what the commander Shepard, hero of the alliance and the galaxy and spearhead of the fight against the reapers asked of her.

“You want me to discredit the Salarian Dalatrass currently in power?”
“Yes.” Rick answered from the side of the red head.
“I’m a war journalist, I cover war events, I don’t do politics.”
“This is why we asked for your help, while it seems political at first, removing Linron will cement the alliance between species, we would gain the full aid of the Salarian’s military and not just the STG.” Jane explained.
“Okayyyyy. I get the why but I don’t see the how exactly…”
“Linron wants the cure to fail. Everyone is fighting for their survival but Linron thinks she has the upper hand and can dictate what happens and what not. The stupid bitch would commit the entirety of the Salarian’s military to the species alliance only if the krogan are not cured.”
“Rick believes she was the one who leaked our whereabouts to Cerberus on Sur'kesh since she failed to get what she wanted through negotiation. Her next try will be a backroom deal. Backroom deal that will not come to anything, meaning we won’t get Salarian help from her as long as she’s in power.”
“And you already have someone to take her place and whose opinion is more along the line of helping our coalition.”
“Yes, Diana. We do.” Jane confirmed.
“Linron’s grasped on power is fragile at best. One big scandal and she’s out.”
“I get it but again I report war events not…”

Rick handed her a datapad, with the whole plan in it. It contained every bit of information she needed and even different ways the story could be spined. The nastiest of them made Linron pass as a reaper supporter at best and a genocidal maniac at worst. Or the other way around. Both Jane and Rick were not sure of which was which. 

Reading the information on the datapad, Diana brows raised more and more and Rick wondered for a moment if they would reach her hairline. The answer came soon enough when it stopped halfway and her jaw lowered instead.

“Oh, she’s so screwed. But I need more than that. True there is enough military information to pass that political bit, but that’s not enough.”
“We know. You’ll get what you need once we’ve dealt with the genophage.” announced the redhead.
“We’re pulling you in the loop now so once it’s done you’d be ready to release everything. The only thing you truly miss is actual ground footage of the situation on Tuchanka which won’t be a problem. The problem is how fast Linron will present the story in her favor. We need you to have the scoop out before we leave the planet.” added Rick.
“That’s… I.. I’m not sure I could do it that fast, I mean if I had help I could but I have to watch the footage, edit it, arrange my text then…”
“There is no ‘could’ on this ship, Diana. Only can or cannot. Can you do it?” Jane asked.
“Do or do not, there is no try.”
“Oh! A star wars fan?” Rick picked up.
“Yes! That’s why I wanted to roam the stars in the first place and not just be a journalist on Earth. My grandfather used to work in the movie industry and showed me plenty of old movies. Always saying that it was better before.”
“Well, he’s right about that.”
“What’s Star Wars?”

Both Rick and Diana looked at Jane as if a second head secondly appeared on one of her shoulders.

“See what I have to deal with every day?”
“I can imagine.”
“And it’s not just her but the whole crew! At least I’m slowly converting EDI. I’m trying with her but… she’s just there to pass time.”
“What are the both of you talking about? What converting?” Jane asked in confusion.
“Why, commander. To the greatness of the good old twentieth and twenty first century movies.”
“Yeah, right, okay. I doubt that will help us with the war or the subject at hand so can we…”
““Your lack of faith is disturbing.””
“Wha-...”
“You’re really a woman of culture, Diana. We should talk more often.”
“I agree. Real movie aficionados are so rare in this day and age after all.”
“What the hell is going on?!”
“We’re bonding over our hobby, Carrot Top.”
“Well, that’s great but we’re in the middle of a plan to get the Salarian army to our side so please do that later.”
“Fine. Diana, could you work on live footage?”
“Alone, I could take notes of important moments of the mission thus making the edits faster later. However with two or three people with me I could have them edit more or less on the spot.”
“I can help with that.”
“Really, EDI?” Jane asked.
“Yes. It does not require much processing power. I can work on multiple sequences simultaneously. Providing Miss Allers is thorough with her guidance.”
“I will! It’s perfect then. The question is how will I get live footage?”
“Well, we have two backup cameras in the Docking Bay, I can work on that with EDI. Won’t be really difficult.”
“It will not.”
“Good, we’re ready on this side of things. We’ll leave you to it, then. ”

____________________________________________________________

Adding a long distance transmitter to the cameras has been trivial, getting them to follow a specific individual and to stay at a certain distance not so much. Not because the programming was difficult which it wasn't, but because they didn’t have the component to make it work. Rick spent an hour searching the ship for parts that he could salvage and finally settled on the terminal in Jane's bedroom, arguing that she was only using it to read her mail which she did most of the time from the terminal near the galaxy map, and because Rick wanted to annoy her. It was a petty argument but he didn’t care besides she wouldn’t even know, so all was good for him. He didn’t miss the opportunity to add powerful lights to them, just in case they found themselves in a dark place though hoped that they would not. The dark was his second greatest fear after tight places.

After testing the behavior of the cameras he was satisfied with his work. Putting them aside, he exited his quarters to get to the Deck Crew for Dinner. He came across Jane who had a pensive look on her face. It was only when she entered the elevator with him that she shared her thoughts.

“I need your brain.”
“Which one?”
“The one in your head.” she replied with a frown.
“I had to ask, for the past two weeks it’s the other one you keep wanting.”
“That’s... Nevermind. Primarch Victus asked me for help. In private.”
“Peculiar. Was it personal?”
“No.”
“Well shit.”
“How come?”
“If it’s not personal then it concerns the Turian as a whole and it must be some dirty laundry because he doesn’t want Wrex to know. Since they are, you know, both in the com center.”
“You got it in one but I don’t understand why.”
“What did he ask you?”
“There is a Turian platoon on Tuchanka. Ultra Black Ops from what I understood. Apparently two hours ago, something went very wrong and Victus wants us to help them.”
“No wonder Victus doesn’t want Wrex to know. Black ops on another species’ planet is not good. I suppose he didn’t tell you what it was about?”
“He did not. Just that it was of utmost importance and an extremely delicate political matter.”
“I like the sound of that mission less and less. Do you know anything else? The location, the objective?”
“The platoon is led by Victus’ son  which we need to rescue and it’s in the Kelpic Valley.”

Rick took a moment to think about the two pieces of information. The fact that Primarch’s son was the one in charge implied that indeed the success of the mission was crucial. It meant that the mission and its secrecy was a matter of trust. That raised alarm bells in his mind. It didn’t get any better and went to Defcon-1 alert when he added the location of the mission. Realizing that failing this mission could potentially make them lose the war, Rick chose the CIC on the elevator panel just as its door opened.

“We need to talk to Victus. Now.”
“You know what this is about?” She asked, surprised that he had already found out. She had hoped he would hence why she shared the information with him and she has not been disappointed. After what he did in Liara’s apartment months ago and dealt with Vasir, she shouldn’t have been shocked but she couldn’t help but be amazed and proud of his ability to connect things and find the truth from almost nothing.
“Yes. Not 100% sure but yes.”
“How bad is it?”
“Losing the war bad.”
“Shit. EDI, tell Primarch Victus that I need to speak to him urgently in the meeting room.”
“Yes, commander.”
“You know, it really sucks that Tali and I could never use the meeting room to work on back then. It really was well designed, a shame, really.”
“I thought the same thing, until I thought that it was bugged through and through.”

Exiting the elevator they made their way to Victus who was already waiting for them.

“Commander, you wanted to talk?”
“Yes, though Rick will be the one to explain.” she replied deferring to her brother as she didn’t know what he had found.
“You put a bomb in the Kelpic Valley.”
“Wh-.. How did …”
“What bomb?” Jane asked, puzzled.
“The kind of bomb that will make the Krogan extinct, because Kelpic Valley is the area where all fertile females and children live. You put it there after the rebellions, just in case the krogan raised again, am I right?”
“That’s…”

Victus didn’t know quite what to say, the man in front of him had found out everything and he didn’t even know how. He could have denied it it was a futile endeavor as they would have known about it sooner or later. With no other choice he confessed.

“Yes. The primarch at the time thought it wise to do so to prevent another long and tedious war. We won the rebellions only because of the genophage. We were losing at the time and with how formidable the krogans are in battle the primarch made sure that any problem would be solved before it even began. It was a very well kept secret. Secret that I only learned when I became primarch myself and got access to classified information. I wonder how you came to know about it.”
“That’s a bit much isn't it? First you sterilize them then completely eradicate them just in case they lift a finger.” Jane noted.
“Sound tactic. The krogans did a number on the galaxy during the rebellions and they were bloodthirsty. Immoral but in the end many lives would have been spared.” commented Rick.
“Why am I not surprised you’re okay with that?” she asked flatly.
“Because I’m logical and it was the logical thing to do. At the time.” he punctuated. “And it still was until Wrex took leadership.”
“Yes. While I do not approve of the decision my predecessor took, I understand the reasons behind it. But now things are different.”
“How so? I mean sure, if the krogans learned about that bomb the alliance fell through but I gathered it has been buried for centuries so why deal with it now?”
“Cerberus?”
“Correct, Mister Wald. I learned that Cerberus had begun digging the bomb. I sent my son with his platoon to take care of them and disarm the bomb.”
“It’s the second time Cerberus acted against the krogan and indirectly the formation of our alliance. Why?” inquired the redhead.
“Probably because those xenophobic assholes want humanity to save the galaxy alone or they are indoctrinated. It’s one of the two and either way that’s no good. Primarch, Wrex needs to know.”
“No! That could jeopardize the entire alliance! That cannot happen, without the help of the krogans my people are doomed!”
“Not just your people but every species.” corrected the commander.
“More reason to not say anything.”
“More reason to say it. Look, the secret of the bomb is already out since Cerberus is in the know. Wrex will find out one way or another. What do you think he’ll do when he learns about the bomb and the fact that you went behind his back to deal with it?  Heck I wouldn’t be surprised if Cerberus tell him themselves just to botch the alliance in case they fail to detonate it.”
“That’s too big of a risk.”
“It isn’t. The risk is bigger if you don’t tell Wrex. In either case he won’t be happy but if you tell him yourself he will be more inclined to work with you and let it go. Put the blame on the Primarch from back then, put emphasis on the fact that you really want this alliance to work and that it can only happen if all parties are truthful with each other.”
“What Gingerbread is saying is that you’re taking the coward’s way out. It never ends well for them. Keep the info to yourself and your people are doomed and the war is lost. Don’t and it’s just a maybe, though knowing Wrex it’s a small maybe.”

Victus looked at Rick then Shepard who nodded. Realizing the truth of their words he let out a sigh and nodded in agreement.

“I’ll tell him. You wouldn’t mind being present?”
“No problem.”
“I’m glad you saw to reason.”
“How did you find out anyway?”
“You asked for a private meeting with Red and it wasn’t for something personal meaning it was Turian related and since you didn’t want Wrex to know it meant the krogans were involved somehow. The fact that you gave the mission to your own son, someone that more than likely has your trust more than anyone and is probably of the same mind as you,(:t- meant it was a mission that should not be failed and that could bring shame on the hierarchy and or put an end to the alliance. Furthermore, the mission is in the Kelpic Valley which led me to only one answer, the extinction of the krogan and knowing how militaristic your people are, a bomb.”
“I understand now why the commander keeps you by her side.” Victus said, impressed.
“Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong. She just wants my d-... Oompfh!!!”

He didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence as a blushing Jane gut punched him hard.