Paradigm Parasite

Chapter 22: "Memory"

We took turns taking naps, but I don't need sleep myself, let alone my body.

Since I have nothing better to do, I'm going to do the memory search I haven't done before.

In my mind, memories are like books.

You remember it, but you can't recognize it unless you recall it.

In short, I have to open it and read it to understand its contents.

Up until now, I have been recalling memories related to the battle or memories necessary for the situation, but I should go through the whole book.

Just to be sure, I do not let my guard down and dive into my memories.

The first things I saw were goblins and trolls.

To be frank, they had lived their lives without thinking too hard, so the contents were not that interesting.

To put it bluntly, booze! Money! Women!

But what they did see was amazing.

The sunrise and sunset from the top of Mt. Shudras, the snow in winter, the starry sky at night.

They only saw it as a view, but from my point of view, it was very beautiful.

Elf's memories were of bow and magic studies.

He started bowing at an early age, learned magic, and made the forest his friend.

And the size, depth, and vitality of the forest.

They may seem mundane to them, but to me they were beautiful.

The memory of the land dragons was one of galloping and predation.

Before they were trapped in that mountain, they ran through the wilderness and prairie, and the wind was their friend.

The wind that caressed them and the scenery that flowed through them were just reflections to them, but to me, they were very beautiful.

Human memory, I see. It is often said that people have a history.

Study, adventure, violence, life...and death.

It was interesting to see the lives of ten different people, some trivial, some interesting, and some not so trivial.

Oh, this is good. This is great.

This is fun.

I'd like to see it with my own eyes, not just through memory.

...Oops, I should pay attention to my surroundings, not just my memory.

I opened my eyes thinly and looked around.

Heidi looked at the fire in a daze and stretched out, but then she held the kukri hanging from her waist in both hands and swung it around as if to check it out.

After checking the weapon for a while, she got bored and started staring at me this time.

After staring at me for a few minutes, this time she came closer to me and started staring at me.

Stop it. It's annoying.

I don't know...I like the way she looks, even by my previous life's standards, but I feel like I'm dealing with a kid.

To put it bluntly, it's annoying.

Let's throw her out somewhere when we're done with this.

No, if I get rid of Zubel and Fatima, I'll force her to clean up the mess?

That might be a good idea.

She might say she's going to follow me even after we're done with this.

Then it might be a good way to get rid of her legally.

...But, stop pouting and groaning at people's faces.

What do you mean, "I was like this?" or "This might be good?"

It doesn't look like she's going to do anything to me, so let's just leave her be.

I was back to the task of diving into the sea of memories.

The next morning, we got ready, woke up Heidi from her sleep, and set out.

We reached the top of the mountain before noon and made it safely into Oratorium territory before evening.

I had no intention of ever going back, but I never thought I would have to make the trip back so soon.

I was going to quickly go to the mansion and kill Zubel, but Heidi suggested that we go to a nearby village to get lodging while we gathered information, so we headed to the inn to complete the formalities.

This is why I don't like walking around with someone else.

I can't move at my own pace.

That would be fine if we weren't on a rushed trip, but that's not the case this time.

I would have to get there and kill them before Zubel and the others noticed me, which would throw a wrench in my plans.

I'm very uncomfortable with Zubel.

I don't feel particularly bad about him killing Rothfeldt, but I do not like the fact that he sent a hit man to kill me.

According to my recollection, he turned the hit man against me because he happened to see me on the street.

From the looks of it, if left alone, he would send assassins again and again.

If he had just left me alone, I would have had no intention of doing anything to him....

While I was thinking about this, Heidi came back after completing the formalities at the inn.

"I'm done, Let's stay here for one night."

Heidi said, "I'm going to gather information," and quickly left the inn.

I...had nothing better to do, so I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes.

Let's see the rest of the memory that was on the way.

After a few hours of doing so, Heidi returned, shoulders slumped.

After a few wobbly steps, she sat down on the bed next to me.

She was downcast and silent, but she had an aura of wanting me to ask her something.

But I ignored her.

But she started talking on her own, even though I didn't ask her.

"I've been asking people in the village..."

According to what Heidi told me, the security in the territory is not particularly problematic.

There were a few cases of attacks by bandits and goblins, but the mercenaries prepared by Liard repulsed them.

So what was the reputation of Lord Rothfeldt?

In a word, it was the worst.

He was the cause of the decline of the territory. The root of all evil. Useless. Incompetent lord.

He had already been called a lot of things.

Zubel, on the other hand, was a hard worker who cleaned up the lords' mess.

A victim of the incompetent lord.

...and they feel sorry for him.

I knew it, but Zubel is the worst.

But still, I wonder what he wants to do by kicking Rothfeldt down and getting in with Fatima.

I don't understand the purpose at all.

...So that's why Heidi is so depressed in front of me.

I'm not so sure what you're depressed ...... about, since it's so obvious.

It reminds me of the past.

When was that time...oh yeah, that time in high school when I didn't get good grades on my tests?

I remember my father hitting me....

Afterwards, I was chastised a lot and finally told "I'm tired of you"...that was tough.

I've seen the signs before, and I know it in my head, but it works when I actually witness it.

Now that I think back on it, there was a huge aura of "I paid for you at a private school, so get results from my investment."

It kind of hurt my heart.

Well, let's be a little kinder to her.

"As for the reputation of the people, it can't be helped. They don't know the truth."

"But...I..."

Heidi's voice was trembling...and she was crying!

The snotty nose is terrible...I mean, this kid's crying face is terrible.

She's so beautiful, but it's ruined.

"To put it bluntly, you...or in this case, we? are at fault, too. It was trusting Zubel."

"Are you saying it's our fault for trusting him?"

"Yes, because we ended up in this situation. The people are just strangers. They only judge things based on the results. In fact, the answer to that question is the way you handled the situation that led to this outcome."

"...Consequences..."

"That's right. We made their lives difficult. They judged you based on this outcome alone."

What is it? What was intended to be a kind word only turned out to be a reality check.

I tilted my head inwardly and wondered why.

"I thought that all the people in the territory were my family...was I wrong?"

Wow, he's starting to mumble something.

I should follow up...or just say what's on my mind.

"But you know what? I know you, don't I?"

"You know... what?"

"I know you're having a hard time with your new job."

That she worked hard on her own, cutting down on sleep every day.

I remember that she went to the village many times on her own to listen to the voices of the people and gather information.

I saw her struggling in front of books she could not read to gain knowledge.

It didn't bear fruit, but at least she was making a serious effort.

That much I will admit.

You were trying your best. At least you are a much better person than I was before.

"You worked hard enough. At least be proud of that fact, right?"

I added, "Even if the results didn't go your way."

Heidi looked like she was crying and smiling.

She opened her mouth to say something, but in the end she just said, "Thank you."

I nodded anyway.

I thought she looked even worse with a crying smile, but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

Once Heidi calmed down, we decided to resume the conversation.

I'd rather hear something constructive than whining, too.

"...so? Did you confirm the whereabouts of Zubel and Fatima?"

Heidi, her eyes a little red, looked straight at me and nodded.

"As far as I've heard, Zubel and Fatima have not moved from the Oratorium mansion."

"Well, then we won't have to go to Liard."

If they'll just stick together, it'll save us a lot of trouble.

Heidi chuckles at that.

"I'll continue the story. The reason she's here is to take care of you."

"It's a good thing I have a fiance to rule and take care of the territory for me."

"It would have been a beautiful story if you had stayed in the house to be cared for."

You are absolutely right.

"Then we should go to the Oratorium mansion as planned?"

"Yes. From here, it should take about three days."

I was planning to go there in one day.

That's a hassle, taking three times as long.

I'm sorry, but let's hurry it up.

"No, let's hurry it up a bit and make it in two days."

Heidi thought for a moment and agreed.

"I understand. Let's leave early tomorrow and go to the mansion in the shortest possible distance."

Apparently, Heidi had understood my desire to get a head start.

After we finished our meal at the tavern below the inn, we decided to get some rest.

I'm not going to sleep, though.