The Newt and Demon

5.62 - Silly Splicing

“We could try something silly,” Salire said, kneeling to pat the marshling children on the head. They giggled.

“I’m feeling pretty silly. What do you have?”

“Attribute reagents. Let’s smash them together and see what happens.”

That wasn’t a horrible idea. Attribute reagents were all flowering plants, which should meld together. They might fight against one another because of their innate alignments, but even in that wheel of elements there were complimentary things. Theo could imagine fire and earth getting along well, while fire and water wouldn’t. Some scholar would have already created an elemental wheel, but the alchemist relied on his mental estimation of the task. Wisdom of the Soul was there to support his thoughts with a brief message.

“My Wisdom of the Soul ability says we should try Flame Roses and Stone Flowers first.”

“I vote we follow your wisdom.”

Theo left Salire in the workshop to play with the children while he collected samples from the greenhouses. He gave new instructions to his golem there, finding it easier by the day to manipulate them. Halting by the door with two plants in hand, he scanned his lodestone network with his willpower. The Metal Golems were more willful than the other ones. They had formed a mob and were marching to the mine. There was some kind of monster surge in that area, forcing the miners to evacuate. The golems had responded faster than Aarok, and would likely clear the area with speed.

“I need more golems,” Theo said, giggling to himself. It felt good to exploit things like this.

As Theo made his way back to the workshop, he remembered squad composition back on Earth. He spent little time in the ‘regular’ army, but remembered they contained people with different specializations. An army of Metal Golems alone wouldn’t be great, so he intended to break the ones he had created into squads and add different golems to their ranks to spice things up. He shook the thought loose as he entered the workshop, placing the whole plants on the work table. Salire dragged herself away from the children, watching as the alchemist spliced the reagents together.

“Like most things, you could do this without a core. But I doubt it would hold. Perhaps I just have a black thumb, but I’ve never been good with plants.”

Theo took the base of one plant, the Flame Rose, and grafted it onto the top part of the Stone Flower. Mana soaked into the place between the plants, fusing them together. All plants were weak after a splicing, no matter how well they got along. The rocky leaves of the Stone Flower wilted, drooping downward. The alchemist rushed it out back, planting it in the Experimental Garden Plot before it could wither away completely. He worked with the settings in the garden’s interface, creating the perfect environment for the plant to grow. Unlike the Night’s End plant, he allowed it to experience the normal flow of time.

“The plant should change,” Theo said, mounding dirt near the base of the newly spliced plant. “But it worked. We have a new hybrid.”

Theo had expected what came next. Another Loremaster had already discovered this hybrid, which wasn’t a surprise. There were several plants only native to the area, but he doubted the Flame Rose and Stone Flower were among them. He inspected the new hybrid plant.

[Magma Bloom]

[Alchemy Ingredient] [Hybrid Plant]

Rare

Found near active volcanoes, this plant feeds from molten rock to nourish itself. Discovered by Jamsen Albarat on the third day of the second month, 1248 Era of Darkness.

Properties:

[????] [????] [????]

“Yeah, but what is the Era of Darkness?” Salire asked. “Magma plants are fine and all, but I wanna know about the Jamsen guy.”

Just because one culture called an era of the world one thing, didn’t mean others would. That was interesting enough. “Good question. I’m interested to see if this will burn my greenhouse down.”

“That’s one way of looking at it. How long is this going to take to finish?”

The Magma Bloom was more stubborn than some others. “No clue. Better to leave it to do its work.”

“Next!” Salire shouted, looking back at the Newt and Demon. Smoke was still coming from the windows, although it had lessened. “I think we have time.”

The next combination was wind and water, which seemed obvious enough. Theo went back to the greenhouses, gathering a Wind Tulip plant and a Water Lily plant. Instead of picking out all the plants he wanted to work with for the day, he planned to go back and forth. By the time he returned to the workshop, the little marshlings were gone. The alchemist planned to lock the door this time, if only to discourage the scamps from playing near dangerous things. That seemed to be the life of a kid growing up in Broken Tusk, though. Poking turtles and getting stuck in logs were all the rage.

As expected, the two plants created a hybrid easily enough. Theo felt resistance when he started, finding that Wind and Water weren’t as close of friends as he had expected. The leaves drooped worse than the last experiment. Instead of waiting, the alchemist rushed it out to the Experimental Garden Plot and planted it, dialing in the settings and observing. The leaves perked up a bit, and the spot where he had fused the two plants together became solid.

“Another one,” Salire said, tapping her chin. “Who are all these Loremasters and what happened to them? This guy seems deranged. Did he write a poem in the description of a reagent?”

Theo inspected the plant, not wanting to miss out on any juicy Loremaster gossip.

[My Dear Sweet Love]

[Alchemy Ingredient] [Hybrid Plant]

Rare

My dear Groxlagan. On the summer’s breath I found you, laying in a field. Amongst the Thropton, a sight so cute I reeled. I’ll fall upon your scaly bosom and truly be a man.

[????] [????] [????]

“It might be my turn to vomit,” Theo said, dismissing the screen. “That is the worst item description I have ever seen. Full stop—this dude professed his love to a lizard-girl with a flower. How cliche is that?”

“I don’t know,” Salire said with a weak shrug. “Some girls might like that kind of thing.”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Oh, god. Don’t tell me this would work on you.”

Salire offered a shy smile. “It would one-hundred percent work on me. Until the lovesick frogopus eyes wore off, and I realized people would read a love letter on an item description until the end of time.”

Theo had no desire to witness what a lovesick frogopus looked like, let alone their eyes during such a time. He prayed to every god he could think of that there was a way to undo what a loremaster had done, but knew it wasn’t likely. The worst part was that he now had to think of the reagent as My Dear Sweet Love. What a pain. But the smoke had lessened from within the lab. He buttoned his coat, pulling it over his mouth as the pair headed to the Newt and Demon. They entered, swiping vials of Cleansing Scrub through the air as though banishing demons.

“The power of Drogramath compels you,” Theo said, splashing Cleansing Scrub on the wall. “Begone foul stench.”

“Begone!” Salire parroted.

Theo was feeling lighter than ever after Zan’kir’s idea to attack Qavell early. They could hear the faint snap of the rail guns in the bay, once again bombarding the city. Tresk and Alex were sending reports to the city, adjusting firing lines and updating everyone on the status of the city. Qavell had taken off during the night, plodding over the waves in last night’s darkness. But the moment dawn came, and the flying spotters got out there, it was once again sent to the waves. As Qavell languished in the salty water, Broken Tusk prepared to take it by force.

Salire led the way upstairs, splashing the cleaning potion along the way. It took them a while to get all three floors smelling good. But when they were done, it was the cleanest the building had ever been, only rivaled by the time when the lab was planted. However long ago that was.

“This is all on you,” Salire said, gesturing to the stills. “If i touch the third tier reaction, we’re going to have more to worry about than a stinky lab.”

Theo nodded, getting to work on the next phase of brewing. Five stills were filled to the top with unbound dilutions, so he went between them and bound them with his mana. Next, he prepared five more stills, transferring the liquid between them in perfect quantities and kicking off the next process. Instead of heading off to do something else, he remained there to study the heating cycles they needed to do. Salire took notes as he observed each still, adjusting the heating elements by intuition.

This kind of research was boring to do, but required if they wanted to get a decent grade out of the potions. The alchemist went between the stills for several hours, keeping up with Tresk’s reports in the administrative screen. Qavell had activated a shield that prevented the shots from hitting, and they were running out of his mana-sucking warded shots.

“Could you fetch me some Drogramathi Iron Shots?” Theo asked, holding his hand out.

Salire placed her notebook in his hand and nodded. “How many?”

Theo checked her notes, finding that she had created rows and columns to track the heating. “As many as Throk will give you. Oh, while you’re there could you buy all Throk’s Tworgnothi Copper Batteries and Tworgnothi Copper Siphon Artifices?”

“Yep!” Salire said, dashing off.

Once she was gone, Sarisa stepped from the shadows. Theo often forgot she was there. “I could have done that.”

“Let the girl get some air,” Theo said, waving the fumes out of his face. He made a note for a heating adjustment on the still containing the Limited Foresight batch. “This place is foul right now.”

“Thoughts on the approaching city?” Sarisa asked.

Theo looked up from the notes after jotting a timing note down. He forced a smile onto his face. “I’m nervous. I have a feeling that we need Fenian to win. And Fenian isn’t here.”

“You read Tresk’s latest report, right? They have guns of their own. Almost clipped her with a shot.”

“Yet they didn’t think to bombard us. Which means they’re short-range weapons, or they’re idiots.”

“I’m leaning to the theory that they’re moronic. Or King Hanan is hamstringing the operation.”

“I’m on team Hanan. He’s not his father.”

“Well, there’s one question I have. Are you prepared to swing the sword if the time comes?”

Sarisa was asking him if he could kill King Hanan if it came to that. He would do so without mercy. Things were balanced on too thin of a knife’s edge to worry about that. Sending a person’s soul to the heavens was easier to do than convincing them to do the right thing. But the alchemist knew it wouldn’t come to that. His intuition said that if they destroyed the monster controlling Qavell, everything would be peaches and sunshine.

Theo expanded his willpower, covering the room and shielding them from prying eyes. Sarisa shivered, shooting him an annoyed glare. “We’ll see how far my new weapon gets me. Let me make a call.”

Theo withdrew the communication crystal from his inventory, squeezing it tightly in his hand. He felt the haptic buzz in his mind as it called Fenian.

“Alchemist! My dear, sweet alchemist.”

“How are the pirates?”

“As drunk as ever! Have you ever sailed with a band of drunk elven pirates? No? It isn’t enjoyable, I’ll tell you that much. I’ve mopped up enough vomit for one lifetime and plan to take a long vacation after this.”

“We got a wrench in the works,” Theo said. Fenian was aware of Qavell, but hadn’t been briefed properly.

“A what in the where?”

Theo explained what they were up against. Fenian listened along as though he knew nothing, but was quick to answer with the truth.

“I’m well aware of that miscreant, Theo. There are some implications as to the old holder of my Throne, King Karasan, and I believe Khahar will be properly pissed off.”

“So, you can beat it?”

“Absolutely. So long as I can arrive before you’ve been destroyed.”

“Why can’t Uz’Xulven enchant your boat? Make it go over the bridge?”

“Because she’s mad at me, my dear friend. Like a scorned lover, she thinks I’ve wronged her. Threatened to take my cores and everything. Could you imagine?”

“Of course. How long are you going to be?”

“A few days. We ran into some problems near Tarantham, turning this week-long voyage into something a bit longer. But we’re at a good clip now. Strong enchantments here on the Godslayer—gods what a name. You can expect us in a few days. Right at the last moment, I think.”

“Keep me updated, alright?” Theo asked.

“Sure. Of course. Ah, I have to go. Another grog drinking contest. Farewell!”

The connection was cut before Theo could say his farewells. It was stable, considering that the communication crystal was piercing through his shadow-infused willpower. There were likely implications that the crystal was connected with his soul, making his aura an antenna rather than a dampening field. The alchemist didn’t care to consider those facts right now, turning his attention to Sarisa’s expectant face.

“Fenian is close. The Herald will save us. I’m sure about it.”

“There he goes again,” Sarisa sighed. “Putting all his faith into an elf.”

“I have no confidence that I can kill it on my own. Maybe I could wrap my willpower around it and drag the thing to Tero’gal… Or the Bridge. I could do what the Bara’thier did and break a chunk of the mortal realm off.”

Sarisa’s confused expression shifted to disgust. “You could do that?”

Theo knew he could do that. But the section of reality he could break off was small, only a fraction of the bubble he could make with his willpower. He knew it because he had seen it in the future, thanks to the Holy infused Potion of Limited Foresight.

“Yeah. Best not to worry about it yet.”

“Yet? Are you seriously planning to send part of our world into the void?”

“Yeah. One day. But I’m not strong enough. I have to find the lost Bara’thier first to bring the shards they stole back. These things are connected. They have to be.”

“And you’re just telling people now?”

Theo gestured to the bubble around them. “This is the first time I can speak freely outside of the Dreamwalk. Do I have to tell you not to repeat this?”

“No, I can keep a secret. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Me too.”