The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Chapter 181: Empty

****(POV)

That's when I saw him charge at the creature.

A star shining brightly in the darkness.

He used every last bit of his mana and essence.

All to power up one last attack.

A decisive one.

Had that rank 3 been smart it would have dodged it.

It could have simply retreated a step.

It would have survived then.

No, this mad being tried to take the full brunt of it with its body.

In normal circumstances, a rank 2 cannot seriously damage a rank 3.

This wasn't a normal one.

All of that power spent on a single attack created a miracle.

A slash so beautiful and deadly.

The mana tracing an arc in the air.

Bisecting the berserker in half.

Sending blood everywhere.

That, I did not care.

Blood was a part of my daily life.

I rushed to my partner's side.

But I already knew.

Knew that it was far too late.

A power that big comes at a cost.

The cost being his life.

I felt the tears drip down my face.

And fall on him.

Then I felt the emptiness.

An abyss.

Our link broken completely.

For his soul itself was on the verge of shattering.

As I kneeled at his side, I could see him raise his head weekly.

Using the last of his remaining energy to gaze at me.

I understood his meaning.

Even without the link.

Even with the absence of words.

Such a simple gaze contained a myriad of emotions.

Sadness.

Relief.

Hope.

Peace.

It told me to live for his sake.

I forced myself to smile for him.

The biggest smile I had ever done.

The most radiant one.

And I kept petting him.

Sharing the little warmth I still had to offer.

He then slowly closed his eyes for the last time.

Then stopped moving altogether.

Empty.

So fucking empty.

I just wanted to die.

The cold stone ground seemed hard.

I could simply crack my skull open on it.

One hard swing and the pain would be gone.

I truly felt like it.

But I couldn't.

Me dying a pointless death would have rendered his sacrifice pointless.

I had to live with the suffering.

No matter what.

I kept embracing his lifeless husk.

Crying.

Lamenting what once was.

How lucky I previously was.

How it all came crashing down.

At least I did outlive him.

He didn't have to feel this pain.

He didn't have to feel this agony.

He died with a slight smile on his face.

Knowing that he left this world with a purpose.

This dumb world.

This cruel world.

This hell.

This place that isn't worth it.

This empty place.

This cold place.

All warmth now gone.

Whoever created this didn't deserve to live.

The newcomers would often rely on religion to keep their hopes up.

There are no hopes to be had.

This world was created by sadists.

Such a world

I want out of it.

But I would remain.

I would.

I fucking would.

I then felt a force being applied to me.

One of the guards in charge of this place tried to separate us.

No fucking way.

No way!

This dog is my family!

I scratched, bit, and punched.

Then I went back to his side.

Leaving behind a lifeless guard.

Not even sure how it happened.

Nor did I care.

I kept embracing him as they moved me away.

I was barely conscious of my surroundings.

I didn't care.

At some point, my brother came in to try and cheer me up.

It didn't help.

It didn't fix how empty I was feeling.

At some point, I had to let go of the body.

They told me they were going to bury it.

I seriously doubted that.

These men were devils.

More monstrous than any of the acknowledged enemies of mankind.

The worst of them all.

Yet no one did anything about them.

Letting them act freely.

This world is bullshit.

The days passed one after the other.

It didn't matter to me.

I was living because I promised.

That was all.

I would keep living.

In fact, I had joined the others, a walking dead.

Moving my body, but the soul gone.

At least at first glance anyway.

Maybe it was hiding somewhere in there.

Even I would not have been able to tell.

I would head to the arena.

I would kill.

I would head back and sleep.

Then I would wake up in cold sweats.

The nightmares keeping me up.

I did this over and over again.

A non-ending cycle.

A pointless and worthless one.

They tried to pit me against some beasts.

Trying to make me tame one by mistake again.

It wasn't the same.

These guys were all idiots.

Not even able to fathom what loss felt like.

They thought I would do a soul contract again.

How ridiculous.

At some point, they just gave up.

I became that one spare product.

The one that they would barely use.

The one that they kept in storage.

Just in case it suddenly became popular again.

That was fine.

I was just going through every day.

One at a time.

My brother kept trying to cheer me up.

Without success obviously.

I didn't want to worry him.

I simply couldn't bring myself to fake.

I was a dead man.

A dead man walking.

Or at least I thought.

I was convinced I had hit rock bottom.

Sadly I was mistaken.

So extremely mistaken.

In such a place, it could always get worst.

They prepared a new event.

One that would involve me again.

These fiends didn't know the meaning of mercy.

This time I was to head into the arena.

So was my brother.

Something so vile

I should have expected it.

As I entered the arena I could hear the excitement.

People cheering.

I would have loved for them to be down there with me.

We would have had so much fun together.

Sadly they were out there, I stuck inside.

The problem was that my brother was here too.

We would most likely have to fight to the death.

Knowing them.

On one hand, there is no way I could kill him.

On the other hand, I did promise to survive.

No good outcome at all.

There was just one thing I was unsure about.

In this situation which would be worst exactly?

To die or to keep living?

After all, no matter what, only suffering awaited