The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Chapter 269: Rules to Surviving

We cheerfully approach home. 

[Hey old man we are back!] 

I can't wait to show him all the cool furniture we got. 

That's when exits from the bakery a man.

One wearing clothes I do recognize. 

A golden lion. 

What does he want exactly? 

Did they figure out the sword is a dummy? 

We are in the city right now, should be a safe zone. 

Did that guy threaten the old man?

Is he here to ask for the money back? 

Too late it has been spent already fully. 

"Oh, you are my uncle's protg aren't you?" 

[Uncle?] 

"The owner of the bakery is my uncle you see." 

Ah! It's him. 

I almost freaked out for no reason. 

[Pleasure to meet you. Hehe, I thought you were here for something else.] 

"?" 

If he's the old man's family he's an ally for sure. 

[One of you guys may have bought a useless sword from me for 50 gold haha.] 

"What?! That was you?!" 

[You know about it?]

"Who doesn't?! It's been the talk of the city! Well, it's supposed to be a legendary weapon not"

*Shrug*

[I never said it was haha. They all assumed.] 

"Then you can't be blamed. Ah, I can try and get a feel for things, but don't exit the city for now."

[Why?] 

"People are going to jump you for sure."

[For the gold?]

"No, for information. *sigh* Sometimes that can be more valuable than gold you know." 

[Gotcha thanks a lot!] 

"Btw, what are you guys carrying?!" 

[Oh, nothing much, tables. Chairs. We'll have an area for customers to sit. It will be epic.]

He looks at the items. 

Quickly at first but then with rapt attention. 

"Where did you get that?!" 

[Eh, an eold lady that does carpentry. She's pretty good.]

"You don't mean?!"

I quickly describe her place. 

"How?! Even the leader of my guild can't even meet with her!"

Comes the kid. 

"Haha, brother charmed her with sweet compliments!" 

That isactually the reason she let us enter is that I called her voice young, isn't it? 

"That can work?! I need to try this for myself and"

[Don't bother. She's leaving.]

"What?! Why?! She has spent all her life here."

[I may or may not have encouraged her to pursue her dreams. Okay I totally did.] 

He puts his hand on my shoulder. 

"Brother, I can call you brother, right?" 

[Of course.] 

"You impress me. I understand why the old man is leaving the bakery to you. No one would go to such lengths to invest in such a small place usually."

[That is where you are wrong! This may be a small place but it will be the first bastion of the pie empire!] 

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA X2!" 

Why are both of them laughing? 

I am serious!

What's with them? 

"Wait you were serious?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

[*Sigh* Get over it already.] 

"HAHA, Of course, HAHAHA brother!" 

Ah, he seems like a good guy. 

You know how there is a stereotype with merchants being arrogant and greedy at times? 

Well, this guy proves that there are exceptions. 

Then again maybe it's because I see him in a familiar setting. 

People change personality at work sometimes. 

I know one guy that would write comedy online. 

People would always be surprised when they heard his voice for the first time. 

Something about it sounding too serious. 

But eh, such is life. 

You need to adapt accordingly. 

Some people call that being fake. 

Sometimes it is, but it can also stem from a good intention. 

People are multifaceted after all. 

It takes a long while, but he finally stops laughing. 

[So, you say it may be dangerous to exit the city, but what about inside?] 

"Okay, there are a few things you need to be careful of."

I need to listen carefully. 

"Rule number one never sign a contract without reading it! Especially slave contracts!" 

Oh damn. A bit too late. 

"Rule number two stay away from offending people from the big families or any strong faction."

Totally didn't spank a young lady from one. 

Totally didn't challenge the Moon Keep champion in public. 

Oh yeah, also that fake sword thingy. 

"Rule number three never sleep in an unfamiliar place. People could put a magical formation around you during the night." 

Eh, I may have slept on the street for a short while. 

"Rule number four never eat or drink anything without testing it for poison!"

I may or may not have drunk a month of alcohol at a tavern. 

I guess I got lucky on that one.

Wait a minute.

What if that owner tried to poison me then?!

Would I have even realized with divine energy coursing through me? 

Probably not. 

Good thing, I don't think I can be killed that way. 

Bad thing, someone could be after my life and I wouldn't know. 

[Right, what about the old man! What should I do to?]

"Haha don't worry about him. He can easily take care of himself. He may not always look it but he has plenty of experience." 

[Gotcha.] 

"Oh right, one last thing. Try not to anger the city law enforcement squad." 

[What are these?] 

"They are easy to recognize they will always be talking about doing an investigation."

[Oh these guys.] 

"You've met some?" 

[Eh, one lady but I simply ignored her so should be good.] 

"Brother! That is not good! They hate to be ignored the most!" 

[Oh well, shit happens. Guess I'll try not to break these rules in the future.] 

"In the future?"

[Eh, I may have already broken a few] 

"How many is a few?" 

[Eh, how many were there again? Four, eh five right?] 

"Yes!" 

[Thenfive I guess.] 

"What?! How the hell are you still alive?!" 

[I mean people can't kill me in this city?] 

"I'm really surprised you didn't get tricked into doing something bad"

[What can I say, I'm not that easy to deal with!] 

Yeah, I won't ever admit my past mistakes haha.

I'm pretty sure no one will know right? 

For instance, I'm pretty sure these slave traders won't go around telling the story of how they fucked up lol.

Same with the merchant guild. 

Yep, everything should be fine. 

That's when someone comes running. 

"Young master! Your eldest brother is finally back!" 

Ah, right. He's been chilling with us so much I forget the kid is supposed to be part of the upper society haha. 

Now, what is this about?