The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Chapter 313: Alchemy is Hard

Before long I am in front of the owner. 

A plain-looking young man with disheveled clothing. 

Good thing he isn't the hero of a story of everyone would stop reading it. 

[Hey there, I'm looking to buy animals for-] 

"Can't!" 

[What do you mean?] 

"I already pre-sold all that I have."

[How long would I have to take for the next batch?] 

How I said it sounds highly inhumane. Treating them like objects. 

"*Sigh* They feel bad nowadays and don't even have the energy to bother reproducing."

Wow. Something must really be wrong. 

I mean besides eating that is the only thing the animals can do here. 

"So because of that, I don't have any to sell."

[Actually, I believe I could help.] 

"How so?" 

[You see I'm an alchemist. Well, an aspiring one at the very least.]

"How does that correlate to livestock?" 

[I'm trying to find test subjects to test my creations.] 

"Hell no! I already have enough problem as is!" 

[Let me finish. What if I practice creating aphrodisiacs?] 

"Why?" 

[As soon as I succeed it would solve your problem. I won't even ask for anything. You'd simply have to let me test on the creatures.] 

"There is no guarantee that-"

[You want a guarantee too?! The way I see it this isn't a losing deal for you. Worst case you lose a few pigs or chickens. Best case you get your business back on track.] 

"How long have you been studying alchemy?"

[One whole day!] 

"Are you messing with me?! You want me to trust you?!" 

[I have a great teacher, lots of motivation, and a part-time job that earns well enough.] 

"How is the last one related?"

[I'll keep trying until I succeed.] 

"Makes sense. Fine! But you are only allowed a few tests!"

[Not to kill too many at once?] 

"Exactly! Wait, kill?! Weren't we talking aphrodisiacs?!"

[Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it.]

Thus we have an understanding and I leave him be. 

Now I just need to get the recipe for that. 

For some reason, my teacher didn't bother including it in the list. 

He's already at my place apparently having a staring contest with Wolfie. 

[What are you guys even doing?] 

"This wolf is not simple!" 

[I know, and?] 

"For some reason, I'm not sure who would win if we were to seriously fight."

[. Old man, please do not fight with my pet!] 

If he was any younger, he would try to wrestle a tiger I bet! 

I'm sure Wolfie would win, somehow. 

She isn't that strong, but she's cunning enough to be able to hunt. 

What's a frail old man going to do against that? 

[Anyway, I need a new recipe] 

"Oh?! You already mastered all the others?! Impressive!"

[Mastered? No? How could I have? No, I need a recipe for an aphrodisiac.] 

He stares at me. 

"Young master, what are you even planning to use it for?"

[For now pigs and chickens. Later hopefully humans.] 

"Young master, that would make the young mistress sad for sure!" 

[What are you even talking about?] 

"How about coming back with me to the Moon Keep, I can try and convince the sect master to-"

[No thanks!]

I know exactly what he's about to say. 

Convince the sect master to forgive me for impersonating the champion. 

But here is the thing, I know how passionate the guy was about the whole envoy thing. 

I also remember the face he showed before sending me to jail. 

There is no way reconciliation is possible. 

Going back there I would have to fight for my life.

Possibly implicating Luna. 

It's best if I just wait for her to find me. 

Someplace away from the influence of the sect. 

[Look, I need it for that revenge of mine.] 

"What?! Weren't you going to use poison for?"

[It is a type of poison, isn't it?] 

"In as way"

Then he finally teaches it to me.

It is actually even more complicated than the other ones. 

For instance, it's easier with poisonous ones because you don't have to care about an overdose. 

For an aphrodisiac the ratios are vital. 

Too much and bam heart attack! 

Too little and you might as well just use wine instead. 

Thus I get to work. 

Soon I have many salves, pills and elixirs completed. 

Me getting so many results with the same recipe is definitely weird.

In any case, it is now time for testing! 

I bring all of that to the ranch. 

The owner is on the side looking skeptically at me. 

Then I slowly use the items on various animals. 

The first one starts pissing all over the place. 

Legit a fountain. 

Okay, next one. 

This one starts vomiting. 

What then hell?! 

Right now he's seriously looking weirdly at me. 

Last one for now. 

I carefully feed the pig and

*BAM* 

It explodes!

What the fuck!

"What did you feed him?!" 

[An aphrodisiac] 

"Are you from a competitor trying to undermine my business?!"

[I swear I'm not!] 

"Who would believe you! You clearly are!" 

[Wait! Let me prove it to you!] 

"How?!"

[Let's do it like so, I'll bring you to my laboratory. Then I'll show you directly!] 

"You expect me to follow you just to your place just to see that?!"

[AhI guess it's not realistic of me to-]

"Alright, give me a second. I'm coming."

[What, seriously?!] 

"I mean this totally seems like a waste of time. But now I'm clearly wondering how one can make an animal explode like that."

[I know, right?!] 

And thus we depart. 

This time I will have an audience. 

I will have to show the best of my skills! 

Back at home, I get to work. 

I properly call every one of the manipulations I do. 

Carefully showing it all.

"Hey! Didn't you say to use the poisonous herb?! That's clearly the medicinal one!"

[What?!] 

*Taste*

[Oh damn you are right!] 

"Y-you! Did you just taste that?!" 

[Oh? Yes, poison tastes like cinnamon.] 

"Are you even human?!"

[Eh? Of course! Let's keep going!] 

I start again carefully doing all the manipulations. 

"Hey! That's obviously the wrong tool!"

[What?!] 

"You used another one for the last batch! The slightly smaller one!"

[Ahmy bad.] 

"No wonder you keep messing this up! How do you even manage to have some result?!"

[That... I'm not sureI'm trying my best.] 

Seems I got some work to do *Sigh*.