The Villainess Whom I Had Served for 13 Years Has Fallen

My Name is ‘Misa’ (4)

***

Rain was falling.

Between the two of us, rain fell, soaked with the regret of scars from memories that could not be erased.

-Swaaah.

Michail was looking at me.

He stood there, staring at me with rain-soaked eyes, without saying a word.

His lips twitched as if he wanted to say something, but Michail clenched his eyes shut and his shoulders trembled.

“I…”

Michail was trembling like someone who had been frightened. He couldn’t meet my eyes properly, his pupils trembling, unsure where to rest.

I didn’t know what had happened, but I gave a small smile as I looked into Michail’s melancholic eyes.

“Misa.”

As always.

I couldn’t say anything.

“Misa.”

I couldn’t respond to his gentle voice. I couldn’t even manage the simple word “Yes,” nor could I meet his gaze.

Michail couldn’t think of what to say, or how to begin. He didn’t dare to open his mouth.

Those red eyes staring at him.

Just looking at his back, the shoulders he once hated, made Michail’s heart ache.

-Swaaah.

Ricardo, who was standing in the rain without an umbrella, was smiling. He was showing me that same smile I had once despised, the one I never understood. 𝖗�

My heart hurt.

It hurt so much… it was hard to even breathe.

“…I.”

What had I done?

“I…”

Who had I hated?

“I… I.”

Why had I done it?

A tidal wave of unbearable regret crashed over me. Even if I wanted to deny it, the regret that gripped my heart was undeniable.

Don’t speak carelessly.

My heart was pounding wildly, as if telling me, “How dare you lift your head?”

“Are you okay?”

Ricardo looked at me with worried eyes.

-Are you okay?

-Don’t pretend to care, it’s disgusting.

-…Seeing you talk like that, you seem fine.

His voice, along with the mistakes of the past, echoed in my ears.

“Misa, you don’t look well. It’s raining like this, and you don’t even have an umbrella…”

-Are you a training freak? It’s raining like this, why are you training?

-Don’t worry about it. It’s none of your business.

-Still.

-Don’t cover me with your filthy hands…!

The umbrella I had dropped on the ground back then flashed before my eyes.

Ricardo’s pitiful expression overlapped with the image of that child in my memory. The child who always smiled at me and never said anything unpleasant. Ricardo’s smile overlapped with his.

I had finally found the path I had been searching for at the crossroads I had wandered for so long. I had learned not only that the child was alive, but also who he was and what his goals were. Yet here I was, unable to say anything, just standing still.

Michail couldn’t meet Ricardo’s eyes.

After all, it was Michail himself who had expelled him from the academy, where graduation guaranteed success. He resented the past version of himself who had spoken such harsh words to Ricardo.

“Why…”

There were so many things I wanted to ask.

Why had someone as brilliant as you become Olivia’s butler?

Why had you, who once showed mercy to an orphan who only caused trouble, become someone who tormented the weak?

There were so many things I wanted to ask.

But Michail couldn’t open his mouth.

Maybe.

“Why did you…”

Maybe it had all been for my sake. I didn’t dare to speak.

“…”

I knew that too many things had been left too late to resolve the emotional chasm that had built up over time. Everything felt precarious.

He wouldn’t know. That’s why he hadn’t revealed his identity to me. Maybe he didn’t want to be a burden, or maybe he didn’t want to be remembered as someone from the slums. If it was him, that would make sense.

‘…’

The memories of what Ricardo had done for me began to surface in my mind.

The time he deliberately lost to me in the ranking match.

-What are you doing…? Fight to the end.

-I thought it would suit you better.

-Are you insulting me?

The time he smiled brightly at me during the academy fire while I stood outside.

-Why are you smiling?

-I’m just glad you’re okay.

The moment I realized that all the things I hated were done for my sake, my heart felt like it was being torn apart.

‘I never said a single kind word to you.’

‘I told you I didn’t need your help.’

But despite my criticism, he had silently helped me. Michail couldn’t lift his head. The reflection of himself in the rainwater was too ugly.

His clenched fist trembled.

It felt like his nails were digging into his skin, but it didn’t hurt. His heart hurt more.

Ricardo was looking at me.

Not as ‘Michail,’ but with eyes full of concern for ‘Misa.’

I couldn’t tell what emotions he held.

Whether they were positive or negative, I wanted to know, but I didn’t have the courage to ask.

Ricardo kept looking at me.

Even though his back was soaked from the rain, he smiled gently as he looked at me.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

If you knew who I was, you’d hate me.

“Please, don’t look at me like that.”

You know what I did to you. I treated you harshly, pushed you away, insulted and humiliated you. Why are you looking at me like that? Michail bit his lip and clenched his fist.

It felt like his heart was collapsing.

His heart, which was beating wildly, seemed to refuse to beat under the weight of guilt. It felt like it was telling him, “You don’t deserve this. Think about what you said.”

‘Yes, I know.’

If Ricardo had said it himself.

If he had lost control and exploded in anger, I wouldn’t even have this chance.

I wouldn’t be able to see his face.

I wouldn’t be able to see that smile.

I wouldn’t be able to hear his voice.

Michail, hiding behind the mask of ‘Misa,’ looked at Ricardo. The sight of Michail would be a nightmare for Ricardo.

Even though this was the real me, the me who wanted to meet him the most, I was facing Ricardo wearing a mask of lies.

Because if he knew I was Michail, I didn’t know how he would react. Honestly, I was scared.

I didn’t know how to face him.

-Why did you suddenly become kind?

I didn’t know how to look at him.

-Act like you usually do. Tell me to get lost. Tell me you don’t need someone like me.

I was afraid of being hurt by his cold demeanor. Even though what I had done was far worse.

I knew these thoughts were just pathetic excuses, but I was more afraid of being hated by him, so I decided to wear the mask of lies.

Ricardo looked at Michail’s trembling eyes and finally opened his mouth, which had been tightly shut.

“Did you ask why I’m looking at you like that?”

He let out a small chuckle and, covering Michail’s head with the umbrella, spoke in a soft voice.

“When a beautiful woman is standing in the rain looking so miserable, how could I just walk by? I’m not capable of that.”

“…”

Ricardo smiled gently at Michail, who hesitated to speak.

“You said you were learning swordsmanship, didn’t you?”

“…Yes.”

“I’m not often in the capital, but if you come down to Hamel, I’ll teach you.”

“…”

“But don’t come to our estate. Make sure you send a letter first. Something like, ‘I’ll be there at this time, please make some time for me.’”

Ricardo looked around and spoke in a playful tone.

“There’s a terrifying monster living in our estate… If you get caught, you’ll die.”

Michail nodded.

His eyes were filled with tears.

His heart was heavy with regret, but he nodded with a hollow heart.

Just having a way to talk to him was enough. Approaching him as Michail was unthinkable. Wearing the mask of lies and approaching him was all I could do.

I knew this wasn’t the right way. It might even be the worst choice, but Michail couldn’t let this opportunity slip away.

“Can I…”

“Yes.”

“Can I really do that?”

“Hmm…”

Ricardo placed the umbrella in Michail’s hand and smiled.

“As long as you show a little sincerity, it’s possible.”

Ricardo, looking at Michail who had lowered his head under the umbrella, nodded and said his farewell.

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“…”

“And don’t cry.”

‘Ah…’

For a moment, Ricardo’s face overlapped with the boy from my memories.

Just like that day when he handed me the box he had been using to cover his head on a rainy day.

-You’ll look ugly. Don’t cry.

“You’ll look ugly. Don’t cry.”

It was the same.

After Ricardo disappeared from sight.

-Thud.

Michail collapsed to the ground and cried endlessly.

He dropped the umbrella onto the street and sobbed helplessly.

“Heuhuh… Heuaaah. I…”

“Now… Hic… Heuaa…”

“What do I do now…”

He pounded his chest endlessly as he wept.

***

Another peaceful day at the Darbav estate.

“Father.”

“…It’s fine. Father will take care of everything.”

“Brother approves too.”

“Mother will allow it as well.”

Sitting on the floor, Olivia was picking her nose, basking in the expectations of her family.

“Hmm.”

Olivia shook her head and spoke calmly.

“No. What if it fails again?”

“It’s just a demotion. Father values the present more than that.”

“I’ve sent all the servants home, so it’s fine. I’ve set up double and triple barriers, and if anyone comes in, I’ll make sure they leave this world without a trace.”

“Mother will help too.”

I smiled as I stopped the young lady from putting her finger in her mouth.

“That’s not for eating.”

“…It

“No.”

“…”

The young lady smiled bashfully and nodded.

“Then, let’s give it a try.”

The Desmond family was full of anticipation. They watched as the young lady rolled up her sleeves.

“Eeeeek!!!!”

They were waiting for little Olivia.

End of Chapter