The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Chapter 248: Pie Venture!

This will be another day spent peacefully and blissfully baking pies. 

The first batch is already done. 

Our maid is acting diligently too. 

Ah, but for some reason, there seem to be fewer customers than usual. 

Maybe they got tired of the novelty of the new shop clerk already? 

*Sigh*That is why beauty is ephemeral, but pies are forever. 

I should print that on a plaque or something.

Daily words of wisdom. 

*CLANG* 

"Sister! There is something big happening! Hurry up and come!" 

Ah, that's the kid from the other day. 

She shows an aggrieved expression. 

"ThatI am working." 

"But!" 

[No, she is right. Attending the shop takes precedence!] 

"This is a huge opportunity! Two rankers will duel!"

[And? How should that affect us?] 

"This will be such a show! People are already waiting there for it to begin! We need to be fast and"

[Nope. Baking is more important. These random people can kill each other for all I care.]

"A-alright"

[You see one needs to have clear priorities in life. This is the only way you will eventually accomplish your goals!] 

*Nod* 

"Fine, I'll buy a pie for takeout and go there alone then. Sorry to bother you"

Holy shit! 

This kid is a goddamn genius! 

[What are you talking about?! Of course, we'll be coming too!]

"What? But you just said"

[Right, baking or attending the shop is more important than watching a deathmatch. No! We will be going there to do some promotion instead!] 

"AH! I see!" 

[Pack everything! This will be our time of glory!] 

It doesn't take long before we have a bunch of pies strapped onto a donkey. 

Where did the donkey come from? 

I'm not sure myself to be honest. 

The kid is pretty reliable. 

He left for a few minutes and came back with it. 

This is great!

I task the young lady to write a sign. 

At first, she's about to write a price tag of 10 coppers. 

Hell no! 

I tell her to bump it up to 50! 

She looks at me like I'm some sort of lunatic. 

But then I explain to her the law of supply and demand. 

The supply is basically a donkey worth of pie only. 

Of course, we need to increase the price!

Now everything is ready. 

I will walk this ass all around town! 

I will show it to everyone! 

They will have no choice but to look at it. 

They will see how juicy it all looks.

How very appetizing! 

Then they will salivate. 

Watching a brutal fight stimulates the primal instincts of people. 

They won't be able to resist it.

Best plan ever!

I am grinning as we leave the shop. 

Apparently, the fight is going to happen outside of the city. 

The system would probably strike both fighters otherwise. 

Still how bored must one be to do this? 

Well, maybe there is some very profound revenge backstory or something. 

Not like I care. 

I will always avoid fighting if possible. 

Why?

Have you tried fighting?! 

It hurts! 

Well, not that much in my case.

I make my way to the core of the crowd. 

Then I start hollering. 

[Fresh pies! Buy the most delicious pies ever made! Only 50 coppers!] 

*Scoff* 

I can hear all the whispers. 

People calling it daylight robbery. 

One even tries to bargain. 

I reject him outright. 

There is this one concept. 

If you give people a crumb, they will take a pie. 

Or something. 

Still, if I lower the price slightly for one customer, all the others will be walking over me soon. 

They call me a fool and ignore me. 

But little do they know the smell is spreading.

Before long I can hear some stomachs rumbling. 

They throw hateful glances at me. 

[Oh right, here you go kid. Your free pie for helping me with the donkey!] 

"Haha! Thanks! I'll move closer to the front so I can see better! This is going to be awesome!" 

[Of course, it will! Nothing goes better with duels than pie!] 

Many are looking at him happily munching. 

I can hear gulping sounds. 

Then, finally, a man approaches. 

"That, I'll take one even if it's expensive." 

[Of course, a steamy hot pie coming right up!] 

Oh yeah, good thing my new maid can use basic fire magic. 

He starts gobbling it up.

[Thank you, benevolent Sir! I truly must commend you on being generous and understanding enough of our struggles and efforts to go out of our way to bring awesome snacks all the way over here!] 

*Nod* 

[This will be an amazing fight, there is no way anyone would want to miss it just because they were hungry!]

It may be a bullshit justification. 

But now they have an excuse to buy. 

They are no fools, no! 

They are simply thanking a mindful brother! 

Ah, it can't be helped. *Sigh*

I am such a noble guy after all. 

At some point, I can hear exclamations. 

Then the sound of a seemingly very confident guy taunting his opponent. 

I move slightly toward the front of the crowd. 

Always selling more and more pies. 

From my current position, I can see the two fighters clearly. 

Well, from kinda far away. 

At best I can see the silhouettes and the weapons. 

The action is about to start. 

Some daredevils are right next to them. 

This, right there, is how to die in a fantasy world 101. 

Between experts, it won't take long for ultimate attacks to be flying left and right. 

Hell, that is what happens in most stories. 

Sometimes the awesomeness of characters is directly described in the number of cities they destroy while fighting. 

I mean how dumb is that?! 

That kinda reminds me of all the superhero movies. 

Most often than not the so-called heroes do more damage. 

Alien dictatorship incoming? 

Oh no! 

Let's half destroy the earth to save it!

Hell yeah! 

This is something I am really proud of. 

I have a magnificent 0 collateral damage history. 

Ah, everything is going well. 

Pies are selling. 

I am safe and sound. 

I can be proud! 

Ah

That's when someone catches my eye. 

A guy observing intently. 

Ink and a quill, about to write on parchment. 

I wonder, what is this about?